Bit of a Conundrum

[Artie Owl]

Alright, I'm not a professional, or semi-professional guitar player, I play because I enjoy it, I have the need to play if you will, but would I like to make a CD someday or play a live gig? Sure, who wouldn't?

 

I've been taking one lesson a week every week for the last two and a half years, I play when I can, mostly picking it up in between other things, and it's hard when you live in an apartment, because you can't turn it up and really hear yourself play. All that aside, I think I'm comfortable playing chords, scales, progressions, in key etc.

 

Last week at my guitar lesson my teacher asked me if I would be interested in participating in their annual recital, and I was immediately conflicted. I've been doing lessons for a while now and I feel like I should have something to show for it, to play in front of family and friends and such. But there will probably be kids there half my age who can really play, what if I get embarrassed by them or have to follow one of their acts?

 

See, here's where it becomes a conundrum;

 

As some of you already know, I lost my grandfather to lung cancer this year, he didn't make 70 years of age, and he was one of the biggest influences on my entire life, not just encouraging me in music.

 

As some of you also may already know, he had a few words of wisdom for me before he passed. I had just acquired my SG after Christmas, and took my amp and guitar over to play for him since he couldn't get out of the house anymore. My grandmother still reminds me to this day how happy he was to hear me play, and understand the instrument, not just memorize particular things. I am forever grateful that I got the opportunity to play for him.

 

He told me to play my music, and not to give a **** about what others have to say about it if they're only trying to hurt you.

 

Now, what do I do? I've played in big concert bands before, but never solo in a recital, especially with a varying group of skill levels. My guitar teacher says I definitely won't be the most basic player there, but it's still a hard feeling to shake.

 

If I don't do it I'll kind of be dishonouring the memory of my Grandfather, and if I do, what? What's the worst that could happen? I don't know what should I do?

[pete c]

id say go for it. and have fun with it

[Rocky4]

Don't worry about the others. If your confident in what YOU play, go for it. If you're doubtful in your playing and are afraid of embarassment, then pass. I don't think your teacher would have asked you if he didn't think you could do it.

[grampa]

Nothing as bad as disappointing your grandfather will happen, even if you totally bomb. DO IT!!

[NeoConMan]

Do it.

Smile the whole time.

 

You'll look confident even if you choose to play something relatively easy to play it safe.

 

Let the kids with the furrowed brow, bent down over their guitar, play a million notes a minute.

You can't compete with them anyway, why bother to try?

 

Enjoy yourself, and let the conversations with the old man stay comfortably in the background while you do.

[damian]

I say do it....If you don't you may regret that you didn't.....Your Gramps will be there in spirit for support...

[Tman]

Go for it and don't look back. Your grandfather will be proud and will know what happened.

You're right, what's the worst that can happen? Plus it'll be fun and a confidence booster. If it makes you feel better, when I was 12, I took lessons and played at a recital - Down on the corner by CCR. Played it great, and completely forgot the words to the second verse and stopped the song and told the instructor I forgot the words. I thought my father was going to blow a gasket he was so red from holding in his laughter.

[pippy]

FWIW, I believe, absolutely, that your Grandfather would be so incredibly proud of you when you play your part.

 

Your playing will be recieved in the most positive way.

 

My best wishes to you.

 

P.

[vincentw]

it's easy for us to tell you to go for it. If I were you I would be very careful about your performances. Solo performances in certain situations can be nerve-wracking, and if you do happen to make a mistake, they can be embarrassing. You might want to consider forming a band and looking to play parties first. These are much less nerve-wracking than recitals, and they ease you into the performance thing, recitals can always come later. Keep in mind that I am speaking as a former professional musician and as someone who continues to play in Nashville...the city I like to call the Briar Patch. This city freaks a lot of people out, but the locals are all very comfortable onstage. I would be careful about putting yourself through someone very uncomfortable as it may be more harmful to the self you are currently envisioning, i.e., as someone who can perform live.

[Artie Owl]

Thanks guys, I've already kicked around the idea of a couple songs I could play, I guess I was looking for a reason not to do it but you guys don't seem to see it that way.

 

I really appreciate the advice.

[milod]

I agree with the above...

 

In fact, I'd even suggest not doing your more difficult stuff, but rather concentrate on playing simple stuff with class. With all due respect to some really hot and fast pickers, it's my observation that over time it's the musician with class rather than the one with the more hot technique who's often longer remembered. The rare person who has both ... tends regardless to emphasize "class." So... Hey have fun.

 

m

[duane v]

Always give a damn about what you're doing.... Prepare for your performance like it will be your last.

[Artie Owl]

I agree with the above...

 

In fact, I'd even suggest not doing your more difficult stuff, but rather concentrate on playing simple stuff with class. With all due respect to some really hot and fast pickers, it's my observation that over time it's the musician with class rather than the one with the more hot technique who's often longer remembered. The rare person who has both ... tends regardless to emphasize "class." So... Hey have fun.

 

m

 

Has it been a while since you've been posting MIlod? I've missed your posts. As for playing something with class, you're right, one of the songs I'm seriously considering is "The Thrill is Gone" by Mr. B.B King on his "Live at Cook County Prison" which is more class than fast.

[MojoRedFoot]

WWAOD???

 

What if you are better than some? If you enjoy it and the audience can see that, then they will too.

[rocketman]

Well no matter how much you practice you'll probably never feel adequate enough. I was a pretty darn good jazz pianist in my time and I never really got nervous. But one night I got a call to fill in at a famous club in downtown Buffalo called the Colored Musicians Club (it's a legendary place). I was 16-17 years old at time, surrounded by these old timers who blew my socks off. I was very nervous, which these old timers quickly sensed. But they took care of me by making me feel comfortable. At the end they told "you're all right kid" and it felt great. It was then that I realized that most musicians are very supportive.

 

If you know that you can't do it, then you shouldn't. If you know that you can, then you're probably kidding yourself. The reality is that you are probably somewhere in between. If that's the case then I think you're ready to do it. You'll get some good support and it'll be fun. Don't worry about the mistakes you'll make. If they are true musicians around you they won't care and they will provide you with the support you need.

[milod]

Brandon... been around... just a bit busy with work.

 

m

[retrosurfer1959]

Some really good comments here but one thing a player I respected years ago has always stuck with me he said " Being nervous is normal but don't be afraid there is always going to be people who play better than you do that's just life unless your amazing, just remember all the people people that are just as nervous to play in front of you."

[freak show]

I'm assuming you play well enough to get up on stage, otherwise you teacher wouldn't have asked you to do it, but the question remains whether you will be able to overcome your stage fright and play to your full potential. Different people react differently. Some get over their anxiety; some freeze up and can't do anything.

 

I think what Vince said is excellent advice: If you have never played in front of strangers before, try to get a bit of experience doing just that before the day of the recital. Perhaps you could grab an acoustic and play on the sidewalk, in a bus station, etc. You may actually find that you enjoy playing in front of people. That would certainly make the recital for your music teacher less terrifying, wouldn't it?

 

The challenge you're facing is the challenge which every musician has faced at one time or another. There is always that "first time". The only real mistake you could make would be to give up. Don't spend your life wondering if you could have done it.

[albertjohn]

I'm assuming you play well enough to get up on stage, otherwise you teacher wouldn't have asked you to do it, but the question remains whether you will be able to overcome your stage fright and play to your full potential. Different people react differently. Some get over their anxiety; some freeze up and can't do anything.

 

I think what Vince said is excellent advice: If you have never played in front of strangers before, try to get a bit of experience doing just that before the day of the recital. Perhaps you could grab an acoustic and play on the sidewalk, in a bus station, etc. You may actually find that you enjoy playing in front of people. That would certainly make the recital for your music teacher less terrifying, wouldn't it?

 

The challenge you're facing is the challenge which every musician has faced at one time or another. There is always that "first time". The only real mistake you could make would be to give up. Don't spend your life wondering if you could have done it.

 

+1

 

Do the best job you can. It will make your Grandparents very proud, from wherever they are watching you.

[Versatile]

Hi and thanks for sharing your story...lost my dad this year...the equal most important influence in a person's life

 

Feel free to ignore my suggestion

 

How about a friendly tutor or similar on piano/guitar to provide backing and give you the taste for live performance

 

Whatever you do...err on the bright side

 

V

 

 

[badbluesplayer]

Being nervous is normal. I use some basic calming techniques to help me when I'm nervous. I try to distract myself so I don't start thinking negative things.

 

Try to imagine yourself playing to your grandad and imagine the smile on his face and the satisfaction you felt after you played to him.

 

Imagine that the recital is over and you're home sitting on the couch.

 

Imagine that everybody is in their underwear or that somebody else just tripped and fell and everybody's laughing at them. I remember one time when I was testifying in court as an expert witness and I was nervous, and then the opposition's expert witness' chair slid off of the witness stand and the guy fell off the chair and onto the floor. It was soooo funny that I completely forgot about being nervous and I wasn't nervous at all when I had to go on the witness stand.

 

[Bowdiddley]

Go for it Brandon, gramps will be watching from above. Make him proud!

[TommyK]

Just do it man. If the teach thinks you're good enough to perform, then do it. He has his rep on the line too, you know. Don't mind that a lot of his students are a couple decades your junior and play better. It's all in your head. Also, there are a lot of greater than 20 somethings taking lessons. It's the 'empty nester' effect. The kids are gone, now it is ME time.

 

The first recital is the hardest. After that, it's all down hill.

[Artie Owl]

At least I have the experience of playing in concert band. I remember one time, when I was in junior high our Brass Ensemble was asked to play Christmas tunes at a local Sobey's grocery store. We were all excited, I think I was nervous too, and combined with how much air you need to play some of the higher stuff, I remember I almost passed out. I don't know if it was nerves, or lack of air or both, but now that I'm able to admit to myself that I have nerves I don't get it as bad.

 

I find it worse if you try and bury or cover up or deny the nerves rather than embracing the fact that you have them and moving forward.

[milod]

Brandon...

 

The unique thing about temporal arts is that every time is the first time.

 

Some of "us" who practice these arts and perform - or have performed - end up with more pre-performance nerves than others. I've talked with all sorts of folks in temporal arts and have gotten the same sort of response. It's somewhat easier, I think, the larger the ensemble whether music, theater or whatever, than it is solo, but that's must my own opinion and observation.

 

I've performed in public since I was so little I don't remember. Depending on the day, sometimes I get a bit of nerves, sometimes it's just going to work.

 

One benefit I did earlier this fall had me on stage for about 90 minutes with a batch of kids aged from 5 to fourth grade. We had less than an hour rehearsal time.

 

It was probably one of the most smooth gigs ever 'cuz the kids responded to the old guitar picker and he responded back to them just as he would at a campfire rather than a "performance."

 

So... what the heck. <grin>

 

m