ksdaddy Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 In 1980 my brother bought a new 1979 Dobro 60-DS. He had it for a couple years and ended up giving it to the landlord for back rent. My father found out about it about a year later, bought the Dobro from the landlord, and gave the Dobro back to my brother for Christmas or his birthday or something. He swore he'd never let it get away. He was lucky it didn't get sold out from under him! My brother has never been very smart with money. Read on. In December of 2007 my brother's mobile home's furnace stopped while he was on the road (trucking) and the pipes froze, burst, and the trailer flooded. It was an older trailer and it was declared a total loss. A cheap banjo got soaked. He was going to toss it but I intercepted. No damage to the Dobro or to the JB Player dreadnaught, but he needed money. I scraped and flipped for a week and gave him $1000 for the two, which worked out to (in my mind) $875 for the Dobro and $125 for the MIK guitar. Shortly thereafter he got a small insurance settlement and blew his money on one of those enclosed trailers from Hell, something you could haul a race car in. His twisted notion was to pack up and go south, which never materialized. He didn't have enough stuff to fill the back of his pickup so why did he want that freakin' trailer?? Over the years I've told him I'd sell the Dobro back to him for $1000 any time he wanted it back, and he has repeatedly told me he wanted it. My brother has never told the truth in his life; everything is one tall tale after another. He was involved in a truck accident a year or two ago, never did get the whole story on that one, but he has been living hand to mouth waiting for a settlement. Well, the settlement came. First he pulls into my driveway on a Harley and I've since found out he bought a mobile home for $40,000 cash. No mention of buying the Dobro back. I don't care, I really don't. $1000 isn't going to make or break me. That's been absorbed in flip money years ago and it's really no big deal. I think what bugs me is that I can't really call the Dobro MINE. I always figured I was just holding onto it until he got straightened around or regretted selling it strongly enough to get it back from me. I really need to talk to him. Either he buys it back or gives up any unspoken claim on it. I don't like being left hanging. I helped him out when he needed it and ever since then I've been standing there in a perpetual shrug and perplexed expression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searcy Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I'd tell him he has 4 months to buy it back or the deal is off. Tell him now before he burns through all the cash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Namvet Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Since he's already had the opportunity and the cash, I'd tell him now or never. Continuously have the same issues with a daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bill Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 It sounds like you may not get through to him. I would make the Dobro mine and do what ever I want with it. Technically it's yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigKahune Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 It sounds like you may not get through to him. I would make the Dobro mine and do what ever I want with it. Technically it's yours. +1 Want is way different than paying cash money. From what I've read of the story, you've given him opportunities to buy it back, he hasn't, it's yours. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stein Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 The way I see it, you have paid for the right to do as you wish or see fit. You "bought" the items when he wanted to sell them. You didn't lend him cash. If that is the case, he owes you 1000 bucks? So where would the instruments come in? No sir, he sold them, and you bought them, regardless of your intentions. So, I think the point is, whatever YOU decide your intentions are or want to be, you paid for that right, and you were given that right by him when he sold them to you. If the agreement was to NOT sell them so he could buy them back, he can do what he wants now, so why let it bother you what he wants to do or not do? I think what I mean when I say you "bought" the rights, is that if you feel you want him to not sell them and you want to keep ownership so he won't, you have the right. If he wants them back to sell again, you already bought them, so no use even bothering with who desrves what. If you want to just give them to him, why shouldn't you? You did him a favor at that time in the past. That's good on you no matter how it turned out. And I think now, whatever you WANT to do, you are in the right for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 it's your guitar... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowboyBillyBob1 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Tell him you sold the Dobro on Ebay for $1500 bucks and see how he reacts. If he gets pissed tell him your just pulling his leg and he can have it back for the $1k he owes you. If he does not care than it's yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retrosurfer1959 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Family is always tough the only way to work through it is with blunt honesty so there no misunderstanding. It depends on what you want to do with the Dobro if you want it for your own. Then tell him no offer is forever and this ones over and the Dobro is yours on Novemeber 1st if he hasn't purchased it. If you want to sell it tell him your selling it and he get's the first right of refusal, if he wants it great he can give you $1000 if not you should sell it and be done with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badbluesplayer Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Family is tough. Me personally, I wouldn't drive through the same state my family lives in. Not really, just kind of... I might try to apply the principle "Treat your family like you would any other person." Maybe just tell him you need to sell the thing to get another guitar and now's the time for him to decide what he wants to do. But I can tell that there are unresolved family issues that are playing a part in this. With your dad and your bro. It's very difficult to find a way to "hit the reset button" when it comes to family. I can say this. When you talk to him about the guitar, don't bring up all the family crap. Don't mention your father. That's a separate issue. Don't mention the stuff that you don't like about him. Don't get the dobro issue tangled up with the family stuff. I would say think about whether this is really an issue with the thousand bucks or is this part of something else. And try to decide what you really want and objectively figure out how to get through this issue in a way that is respectful to both of you and doesn't aggravate the "family" situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Family is always tough the only way to work through it is with blunt honesty so there no misunderstanding. i like this approach the best, you cant go wrong... Just tell him how you feel, for example; You know I've holding on to this guitar for years but don't want to get to attached to it because I don't know if one day you are going to buy it back or not. I think it's best you keep $1000 I gave you for it and hold no claims over it. If you really do want it buy it back now or within a REASONABLE time frame. If you don't want to buy it back it's mine and you know where it is and can visit it whenever you want. Small print would be, call first and it doesn't leave my house... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted October 17, 2012 Author Share Posted October 17, 2012 Truthfully I don't think I'd ever sell it to anyone else but him. I'd rather keep it in the family even if he were to tell me he didn't want it anymore. Once it's gone, it's gone, and will not be back. I don't ever want to be in that situation. I'll mention it to him next time he comes around. I have a little nagging feeling he doesn't want it back but doesn't want to let go completely either. It would be a lot easier if he were to say "I'll never play that thing again". At least then I could call it 'mine' with a clear conscience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 I think you've got your answers here. You want to 'keep it in the family'. Well, it's in the family. You've gone above and beyond the call of brotherhood in buying it from him with the expectation that he will /can buy it back when his fortunes turned around. It's possible that he 'says' he wants to buy it back some day so he doesn't sound like he doesn't care about the dobor like you do. He probably doesn't give a flying fig about it... really. His fortunes turned around and he never mentioned it. You have said you really don't care about the money. A. You are fifty odd years old. I suspect he's about the same. He's old enough to take control over his life and free time passions. You've given him ample opportunity to 'buy' it back. If it gets back in his possession, whether as a gift or buying it back from you, he will eventually use it to pay rent or whatever when his fortunes change.... again. And his fortunes WILL change, based on your brief bio of him. At which point you will move heaven and earth to get it 'back in the family' .... again. How much are you willing to pay to get it back in the family.... again? Sadly, I have a hunch that his insurance settlement paid for the $40K trailer and the Harley was bought on time, using the trailer for collateral. i.e. his wallet is already tapped. (I've got a couple of relatives like this too). B. Leave the Dobro parked in a corner of the rumpus room where he can see it when he comes over this Thanksgiving, Christmas, or whenever. If he picks it up and plays it, it'll be a way of starting the 'do you wanna buy it back' conversation. If not, wire tie it to the ceiling of your garage and hold it for his kids.... or your daughters. (all of whom, have the potential for pawning it for some reason in the future). It's your Dobro and you will never get a dime out of it. He would rather have a $40K house trailer and a Harley, that makes him happy, than some dumb old, water logged Dobro he thought he had divested himself of years ago. Your passions are not his and his are not yours. (Would you be happy living in a $40K trailer?) Life's too short to be agonizing about if he is EVER going to 'buy' it back. It's in the family as you wanted it. Be happy about that. End of story. Now go play your Applause. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 The Dobro saga continues! This time I'm just plain amused. I have no animosity towards my brother. Well, let me rephrase that. It's not my place to approve or disapprove of the path(s) he has chosen in life. He's a big boy and can (and has) made his own decisions. He never did buy his Dobro back from me. He got his settlement and hard to say what's left of it. He spends all his time hanging around the pawn shop in town telling wild incredulous tales of his exploits. All lies. He tells so many lies he believes them himself. A month or two ago he bought (online? ebay?) a 1979(?) Dobro 33 metal body round neck. He had it a week and now it's on consignment at the aforementioned pawn shop. Not sure why he had remorse but there it hangs in the window. I think he paid either $900 or $1000 for it. The tag says $900. I was at the pawn shop the other day as there have been some changes in management and there are about 100 guitars in various back rooms, old unclaimed pawns from 2008 or so that were never put out onto the floor to sell. The girl managing the shop now lets me rummage through them. I have free reign there; I've been doing all their string repairs since 1984. I go through the piles of cases, cherry pick, and she sells them to me cheap, which I then flip. I've bought about 35 in the past 3 or 4 weeks. Sellable stuff; Mexican Strats, Jackson pointy flamey guitars, old Yamaha acoustics.... I'm really REALLY having a good time. Anyway, I looked the Dobro over the other day. I must confess to never having owned or played a metal bodied reso. Wow. What a sound. And loud. The body has a few little dings around the edges and the WORST part is a repaired hairline crack behind the headstock. It only shows as bad as it does because the neck is blonde. I questioned the upside down Ping style tuners when I had it in my hand but I'd have to remove one to find the truth. I have no idea what went on there, but they're obviously not original. So in talking with the girl she said "He'll take $700 for that". She then said, "Let me call him and see if he'll take $600." She left him a voice mail. I told her not to let on it was me that was making the offer. One of two things could happen if that was made known. Either he'd play the "I'm your brother and you shouldn't take advantage of me like that" card or "Remember (one,ten,thirty) years ago when I cut you the good deal on that Dobro? You owe me one!" He replied the next day, firm at $700. For now. The repaired neck DOES bother me and if I were to undo the tuners the extra holes would bug me too. So I can see that neck getting sunbursted or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badbluesplayer Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 (Dramatic music) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser Bill Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 ksd...your brother sounds like several folks I know (some are relatives)...you have my sympathy. I'd say sell it to the highest bidder...recoup your money and move on....end of story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retrosurfer1959 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Cut your losses and move on and your right a metal body Reso sounds like nothing else. I have a couple Nationals and there some os the coolest guitars I own I love the tone and there fun even for non bluegrass I do three or four reggae songs on the Resonator just because I love the way it sounds. If you bought your brothers current Dobro from pawn just don't involve him that way he cant feel any latent ownership. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Hairline crack looks like who ever did the work did a very good job... You could probably find one with no issues though if that stuff bugs you. I mean why buy a guitar that has issues that are going to bug you. Now if you want it as a project guitar and you plan to refinish it go for it, do it up and enjoy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 K'Daddy, Do you want this Dobro because you like it.... or are you rescuing your brother's Dobro again? Only you can answer the question. I suspect there is another Dobro out there without a cracked neck. The other thing to think about is that you're currently playing the cloak and dagger game even before taking possession of it. If you should take possession of it can you deal with the cloak and dagger game every time brother shows up to have some quality time with his favorite male sibling?. i.e. "Aw... sh!!! brother is here.. Where's the Dobro? Quick Penny, hide it in the Applause humidor... no, no... in the Baker Jewell under the tarp!... or the bus!" Step back. Take brother out of the equation. If you can get the Dobro for the $600 you offered, is there another stringed instrument in the back room you would rather have for the 6 bills?, one you could more readily flip. (I can't believe the Dobro market is that saturated with buyers, much as I love the whine of a good Dobro.) Then again, maybe this will help, >waves hand < "This", , "is not," :unsure: :blink: ," the Dobro you seek." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzy Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 K'Daddy, Do you want this Dobro because you like it.... or are you rescuing your brother's Dobro again? Only you can answer the question. I suspect there is another Dobro out there without a cracked neck. That's what I thought too. Keep the old one and forget this one unless you're going to flip it and not let your bro in on it. If it is for personal use, get a better one. I understand about the old dobro. Most folks here focused on the money aspect, which is important, but I know it is a symbol of brotherly loyalty and favours. He used it as collateral for a loan, in his mind perhaps, and would be mad if you sold it. Maybe him getting the new one was his way of saying, "I don't have a Dobro, I did once but that one isn't mine anymore." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Another thought. Brother is aware you have the Dobro formerly known as his Dobro. Instead of buying it back from you he elected to purchase this one... then elected to sell it. (I suspect it's on consignment as he is being consulted on price before it can be sold.) Is it possible He wants your Dobro, formerly known as his Dobro, to stay in the family as much as you do. But... he knows if he takes possession of it, he'll end up pawning it ... again. Don't you just love family dynamics? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 I think you're trying to keep doors open for your brother. You don't want him to one day drive down the road with that trailer and never come back. He's like a rolling stone, prodigal son kind of guy. This isn't a judgment of him, just kind of the picture I'm seeing. The dobro is a path to his real feelings that you hope are still there. The family dobro is the strongest link, but maybe this second dobro can also play a role in getting him back in the fold. Gives him a reason to call you, stop-by, etc. The dobros (particularly the family one) are at the very least conversation starters. A way for you to say (even without saying it) "I've got your back, bro." For all the times the guy has been a pain-in-the-*** and will likely continue to be, you are there for your brother. You're not going to beg your brother to get his head screwed-on right, but you're going to give him all the chances you can. I think you're doing what family is supposed to do. We may not always forget, but we can forgive......I'd likely keep the old dobro, as you're considering. It will always make you think of your brother, and that's not a bad thing. He's your little brother and you worry about him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 So at long last, this issue is resolved. He had bought a 1979 metal bodied Dobro (round neck) and didn't like it. He also bought a PRISTINE 1990 Fender Twin with Groove Tubes and Jensens. Not a mark on it. He had the Dobro for sale for $700 and the Twin for $500. I swapped him his old Dobro back for the metal body AND the Twin. The Dobro has a nearly invisible repaired headstock crack and some idiot put some tuners on there upside down so they work BACKWARDS. I will put Schallers or Grovers on it and fill the screw holes, and at that point I will likely spray the neck with some tinted lacquer to help hide both the repair and the filled holes. Not crazy about the blonde neck anyway. I haven't even fired the Twin up yet. Not sure of it's fate. It's beautiful... but I just sold my '74 Dual Showman and Bassman bottom because it was too much for the man cave. Not sure what to do there. So the deal was for him to buy his Dobro at some point for $1000. I think I got the better end of the swap. I consider it interest for holding it for 4 years. I handed it back to him just as he handed it to me, bars, picks, extra strings, cleaning cloths, all in the case pocket. Time capsule. And I will forever be free of the burden of owning that cursed thing. Regardless of what anyone says, if I had sold that, it would have gnawed at me. He's got it back, and if he pawns it again, he's on his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzy Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 Glad you got on the proper end of this affar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender 4 Life Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 sounds like MY brother. time to do what's right for YOU Ks !! every baby bird has its' day...and it either flys on its own, or hits the ground and gets eaten by coyotes. haven't spoken to my brother since '92.....don't know if he's even still alive. too busy making a living for my own family to carry his baggage too. occasionally, I get an urge to try to find him, facebook, state vital records etc. then I ask myself 2 questions 1. WHY? 2. what then?(if I find him) i'm not the type that pulls a leech from a lake and sticks it to myself just to let it feed, which is exactly what i'd be doing if I found him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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