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Band split (update I am done)


awel

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I think I will definitively stop playing guitar, tonight the bass player which is usually a guitar player, told me that everything I've ever made was 'out', that I am a bad quitar player but he didn't tell me anything since 1 year because didn't want to hurt me, and by the way told me that he is the only honest person that I know, that other people lie (my friends, people I don't know when we played live and you ... because I have posted things from my band on this forum and no one told me I was playing out so everyone lies :)

 

I am so upset, I started music to have pleasure not that, now believe me or not but I don't trust myself anymore so I am serious when I am thinking to stop all that s...! :(

 

 

Dude, I'm a hack... I play out, in, and back out again...

 

But I do it with my heart & soul! I also keep working and improving my licks and techniques. Find people that aren't @$holes to play with and it won't be an issue!

 

Find guys that want to play to have fun and work toward getting gigs etc.

 

I too play for my enjoyment because I love it! I love guitars, I love guitar tone, and I love Blues and I enjoy playing it...

 

People have agendas and their own issues and sometimes they spill over onto others around them when they are conflicted for whatever reason...

 

Let him go and find some real friends that aren't that way and that will have fun and play music with you... Don't think twice, it's alright, and the song goes...

 

It's all good! Move on and find more playing opportunities!

 


If I didn't know any better I'd think this post was an April Fools joke...

 

Don't let yerself take on the drama and turmoil of others if this is for real...

 

Either you truly love playing guitar, or you don't... U decide... And don't look back!

 

And don't put all yer eggs in 1 basket either, find multiple groups, bands, projects, and opportunities and see what you like...

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I think I will definitively stop playing guitar, tonight the bass player which is usually a guitar player, told me that everything I've ever made was 'out', that I am a bad quitar player but he didn't tell me anything since 1 year because didn't want to hurt me, and by the way told me that he is the only honest person that I know, that other people lie (my friends, people I don't know when we played live and you ... because I have posted things from my band on this forum and no one told me I was playing out so everyone lies :)

 

I don't think this can be true at all.

I have not heard your playing but in my experience people who listen to and watch bands don't lie to please musicians, quite the opposite.

It sounds very much like your ex-bassplayer is embittered, jealous and wants to be where you are, playing guitar. Does he sing too? So he joined the band over a year ago and though everything, the playing and songs, was wrong as he now claims, he never said a single thing? Huh?

I think it is B.S. and I know how much it hurts too. What about the drummer?

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Try not to let one persons comments steer your musical direction. Sounds like this person is a total jerk.

Like said previously, maybe a little time away and on your own will make all the difference.

Don't do like I did and stop playing for almost 30 years.

Cheer up Awel.

Hope you do.

Dave

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I think I will definitively stop playing guitar, tonight the bass player which is usually a guitar player, told me that everything I've ever made was 'out', that I am a bad quitar player but he didn't tell me anything since 1 year because didn't want to hurt me, and by the way told me that he is the only honest person that I know, that other people lie (my friends, people I don't know when we played live and you ... because I have posted things from my band on this forum and no one told me I was playing out so everyone lies :)

 

Sounds to me like your bassist has something against you. I've listened to things you've posted on this forum from your band and I've never heard anything "off". Don't let one person's criticism stop you from playing. As long as you feel good while you're playing, you can't go wrong. Maybe you do just need a break, as stated above.

 

-Ryan

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I don't think this can be true at all.

I have not heard your playing but in my experience people who listen to and watch bands don't lie to please musicians, quite the opposite.

It sounds very much like your ex-bassplayer is embittered, jealous and wants to be where you are, playing guitar. Does he sing too? So he joined the band over a year ago and though everything, the playing and songs, was wrong as he now claims, he never said a single thing? Huh?

I think it is B.S. and I know how much it hurts too. What about the drummer?

 

The drummer didn't share his point of vew and complained how can he comes with that kind critics after one year, the bassplayer said it is because is too nice <_<

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Try not to let one persons comments steer your musical direction. Sounds like this person is a total jerk.

Like said previously, maybe a little time away and on your own will make all the difference.

Don't do like I did and stop playing for almost 30 years.

Cheer up Awel.

Hope you do.

Dave

 

Thank you, perhaps I am just talking on fly, because it hurt me so much deep inside

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Sounds to me like your bassist has something against you. I've listened to things you've posted on this forum from your band and I've never heard anything "off". Don't let one person's criticism stop you from playing. As long as you feel good while you're playing, you can't go wrong. Maybe you do just need a break, as stated above.

 

-Ryan

 

Thank you Ryan, perhaps like you said it is a time for a break and work more but most important learn take pleasure again with playing guitar

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few things piss me off quicker, than ego and arrogance. And you will definately run into both playing music. whats the old joke, "how many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb ? 5, one to change the bulb, and 4 to stand there and say they could have done it better. There is a quote of Dickey Betts that i've always loved, " I don't spend any time thinking about who's better than who, cuz last time I checked, no ones keeping score ".

It pisses me off when i hear stuff like this... just keep playing. dont worry about that guy. what goes around, comes around. Karma is a very real thing.

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Here is a suggestion. Do your own thing! Start YOUR own band. You can play anything you want then because it is your band. The band dynamic can be very tricky but less so if it's your gig. Good luck and keep the faith!

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few things piss me off quicker, than ego and arrogance. And you will definately run into both playing music. whats the old joke, "how many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb ? 5, one to change the bulb, and 4 to stand there and say they could have done it better. There is a quote of Dickey Betts that i've always loved, " I don't spend any time thinking about who's better than who, cuz last time I checked, no ones keeping score ".

It pisses me off when i hear stuff like this... just keep playing. dont worry about that guy. what goes around, comes around. Karma is a very real thing.

 

[thumbup]

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Here is a suggestion. Do your own thing! Start YOUR own band. You can play anything you want then because it is your band. The band dynamic can be very tricky but less so if it's your gig. Good luck and keep the faith!

 

I will keep the faith for sure

specially with people like people on this forum, I don't think internet and social network is always a good thing but, at least tonight it helps someone ... myself

 

Thanks friends

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People who love themselves will rather try to do things better for feeling better, those who hate themselves will rather try to put other people down. The problem is not on your side, Awel, it's on the bass player's side. All he said was that he tried to treat you nicer than he treats himself. He had to fail doing so one day, and the earlier you know the better.

 

As for the Karma, I believe it is a good idea to sleep over it, and you may find out that you're not forced to prove anything to him. It's all about you and your attitude, and I am confident you will do the right thing.

 

I had to deal with similar situations twice in the past. There have been four months I didn't touch a guitar or bass, from mid August 1987 until 19th of December, 1987, but eventually I never gave up playing.

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Sorry to hear those developments Awel - I'll give you my thoughts which you are of course perfectly entitled to disregard but here goes... (sorry about the length)

 

Firstly you are a very good player so forget that cr@p he said - this doesn't sound to me like its about playing ability one little bit - its about frustration - he's frustrated with you and your approach, you're frustrated with him and his apporach and the drummer's quite likely frustrated with both of you as a result - so be it, it sucks but that's life.

 

The last thing you need though is for it to fester away inside - that'll just do your head in and it won't be fun at all - who needs that.

 

So I suggest you call a band meeting at which each of the THREE of you spills exactly whats on their mind - no matter how long that takes or hard it is to hear (remembering that its all just someone's opinion, but perception is THEIR reality so...)- whilst the others basically have to shut up and (really) listen. Then its decision time - keep going, and if so with what changes agreed by ALL of you, or quit and go your own ways. Then you have a clear decision and can move on.

 

I'd suggest before the meeting you (by yourself) figure out both your requirements if it is to continue and how the changes will be made so they're not just talk/ideas that never happen as well as ways in which you'd be prepared to change if its important to them, and also figure out your options and preferences if you decide to split (as well as how to manage any mutually owned gear). Maybe have a talk to the rock band as part of that and see if it feels like something you could be enthusiastic about. That way you can have a plan irresepctive of the outcome of the meeting and therfore go into the meeting feeling that its OK and life will go on either result. With a bit of luck this exercise might even raise your spirits when you think of the options.

 

Maybe I haven't explained too well but I hope you get the drift - main thing is not to be upset indefinitely for all the reasons others have put so well previously.

 

One other thing - after the meeting, let anything said that hurt personally go. Tough to do but vital to do.

 

 

Again - feel free to disregard this - but that's what I'd do in these circumstances.

I wish all the very best to you.

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Seriously AWEL...... Stop feeling sorry for yourself [thumbdn] ....... You think enough of your playing to post clips of yourself jamming, so that would lead me to believe that you're confident enough in your playing ability to throw it out there for all to hear [thumbup]

 

Being in a band is similar to a relationship...... When the relationship is severed just be professional about it and move-on, and find a different situation that would be better suited for everyone in the band. I'm sure there's a bass player and drummer that would be delighted with what you have to offer as a musician..... Trust me it's not the end of the world.

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Seriously AWEL...... Stop feeling sorry for yourself [thumbdn] ....... You think enough of your playing to post clips of yourself jamming, so that would lead me to believe that you're confident enough in your playing ability to throw it out there for all to hear [thumbup]

 

Being in a band is similar to a relationship...... When the relationship is severed just be professional about it and move-on, and find a different situation that would be better suited for everyone in the band. I'm sure there's a bass player and drummer that would be delighted with what you have to offer as a musician..... Trust me it's not the end of the world.

 

Duane V is right. its just like a marriage. and its always best to take the high road, in any situation. When I said what goes around comes around, i just meant if the guy is an a$$, it'll come back on him somewhere down the line. my drummer, he and i have been in 4 or 5 bands together in the last 30 years. there have been gigs where he and I have almost come to blows in the parking lot while loading up... we laugh about it these days...

AND , if you decide to not play for awhile, then you have some quality time with that little baby at home. i quit playing for 5 years in the 90's just to be home with my kids. I knew there would come a day when they either wouldnt be around, or didnt feel like hangin out with Dad.

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Another idea...many of us, out here in the "Sticks" don't really have the luxury,

of a "Band," per se', at least not "long term," as most that do still play, are

still working (not retired, like me), and also, have families that take a LOT of

their time, that I also, unfortunately, don't have to deal with. So, consequently,

I and several other similarly untethered players, work as what you might othewise

call "free agencts," and put together like musicians, as a "band," for specific gigs,

without having to worry about pleasing a finite group, of individuals for any lengthy

time. It's both a way to actually play, more...and, a bit of self-preservation, if/when

things don't work out, all that well. I must say, it's been, in many ways, both successful,

and a relief, as well. So, basically, we play with several "bands," that we concoct, as the

need warrants, or arises.

 

Just a thought... [smile]

 

CB

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Thank you all, I will stand up but it will need a bit of time, my pride has been hurted so ...

 

But I will take into account your advices, and perhaps talk to THE guy later on, because right now I am still upset so it is useless

 

God bless you

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Really sorry it's turned out the way it has done, Awel.

Clearly, as has been mentioned by many, the bassist has personal issues with you being the guitarist.

Again, as others have said, the best thing is to walk away and don't look back.

 

...I will stand up but it will need a bit of time...

Probably a good idea to give yourself some quality rest and thinking time away from it all. Not too long, though!.....

 

Spend that 'bit of time' you mention honing your already fine playing and come back even better and stronger than before!

 

The very best of fortune to you.

 

P.

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Really sorry it's turned out the way it has done, Awel.

Clearly, as has been mentioned by many, the bassist has personal issues with you being the guitarist.

Again, as others have said, the best thing is to walk away and don't look back.

 

 

Probably a good idea to give yourself some quality rest and thinking time away from it all. Not too long, though!.....

 

Spend that 'bit of time' you mention honing your already fine playing and come back even better and stronger than before!

 

The very best of fortune to you.

 

P.

Thank you very much [thumbup]

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Another idea...many of us, out here in the "Sticks" don't really have the luxury,

of a "Band," per se', at least not "long term," as most that do still play, are

still working (not retired, like me), and also, have families that take a LOT of

their time, that I also, unfortunately, don't have to deal with. So, consequently,

I and several other similarly untethered players, work as what you might othewise

call "free agencts," and put together like musicians, as a "band," for specific gigs,

without having to worry about pleasing a finite group, of individuals for any lengthy

time. It's both a way to actually play, more...and, a bit of self-preservation, if/when

things don't work out, all that well. I must say, it's been, in many ways, both successful,

and a relief, as well. So, basically, we play with several "bands," that we concoct, as the

need warrants, or arises.

 

Just a thought... [smile]

 

CB

 

That's exactly what I mean when used the term "projects." My project is a group of loosely affiliated musicians that we group-up in multiple lineups and put on a show of what comes off looking like multiple bands to fill a card at a venue. A couple guys go up and do solo acoustic sets, then a group of 2 or 3 of us will go on with the drummer and maybe a bass and do some songs, then another group of 3 or 4 of us will perform so that the entire project gets playing time and plays a different variety of music in their respective sets. We do creative little things like call up one of the other guys into a lineup he's not generally part of as a "special guest" for a certain song or two and it appears to be a multiple band night when in fact it's just our "group" of musicians all getting playing time in a live performance setting...

 

Hell I even fill in on bass for some lineups...

 

It's fun as hell and you never know what yer gonna get on any given night. We choose lineups on the spur of the moment before sets and they put together a rough set list and mix it up as the mood strikes us and as we get a read on the crowd for the evening...

 

As much as it is nerve-wracking to be called up as a special guest guitarist, in a set I'm not in the lineup for normally, and told we're playing Pink Floyd's; "The Wall," (never having played it before in my life) I just let my memory guide me for a tone/sound theme and improv the whole song and the crowd loves it... I threw in my reissue '67 Vox wah pedal just for the mood of the whole psychedelic thing, went total improv in-key and we had a blast! I toyed with some reverb, some delay, danced around the edges of it with some audio bling and gimmicky effects, and we killed it!

 

I got the Shiite scared out of me when called up as a special guest guitarist to play The Eagles; "Hotel California." But we pulled it off and the crowd loved it! I'd never played that song in my life, not once, never even learned it. But I improved in key and my memory of listening to that tune on the radio so many hundreds if not thousands of times in my 46 years on this planet that I hit some of the key licks simply on memory and pulled a standing-o out of the crowd.

 

None of those things are my staple nor even close to my comfort zone... But I loved it all none-the-less and truly enjoy the unlimited opportunities we've manufactured in out little band project/s.

 

Improv is probably my strongest suit to what I have going for me as a Bluesman, and I've probably never played the same song twice the same way. Never learned songs from beginning to end (other than my own originals and those are pretty basic outlines) and I generally go by feel and take emotional/spiritual content from the crowd and try to bond with it and play to it whatever it may consist of on any given night...

 

I'll go from playing alternative or Hip-Hop versions of Michael Jackson's; "Billy Jean" and Vanilla Ice's; "Ice Ice Baby" to Pink Floyd's; "The Wall" and Donovan's; "Season Of The Witch" and round it out with some of my original 12-bar Blues, Johnny B. Goode, and Johnny Cash's; "Fulson Prison Blues" all in the same night...

 

It's all good!!!

 


BTW, here's a rare recording of that Blues lineup I loved so much that went out as fast as it came in for me last summer. The singer guitarist and I worked so well together and had so much fun!

 

The entire lineup on stage at the moment in this recording is 45+, me being the youngest @ 45...

 

It was only the 2nd time we'd ever met or played together... (Paul the drummer and I - and the other guitarist & bass player were two parts that had joined together for this lineup)

 

I flubbed one of my licks and went right out of key for a couple seconds, but the crowd didn't even seem to notice...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F8VKE5wcU8&feature=youtu.be

 

 

This was just 1 of like 3 different band lineups that went on that evening and we had 3 guys do solo acoustic sets throughout the afternoon and evening too...

 

The guy filming is one of the persona's that does alot of the alternative type stuff we do and is a card... He simply put together a quick montage of spots as you can see my guitar change thru the song and some quick snippits of one of the acoustic sets that isn't really part of this song; "I Wonder Who" which is a Rory Gallagher version of what I believe is a Muddy Waters tune...

 

My Vintage V100GT was still configured with the Peter Green Mod for out-of-phase which I used for the fills/leads on this tune... I've since put it back to stock since I purchased a Vintage V100PGM...

 

I loved that lineup! It was very very short-lived and disappeared as quick as it appeared in our project... I've told that story before here on the boards...

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I think I will definitively stop playing guitar, tonight the bass player which is usually a guitar player, told me that everything I've ever made was 'out', that I am a bad quitar player but he. idn't tell me anything since 1 year because didn't want to hurt me, and by the way told me that he is the only honest person that I know, that other people lie (my friends, people I don't know when we played live and you ... because I have posted things from my band on this forum and no one told me I was playing out so everyone lies :)

 

I am so upset, I started music to have pleasure not that, now believe me or not but I don't trust myself anymore so I am serious when I am thinking to stop all that s...! :(

 

You know what? Tell that guy to take a very long walk on an extremely short pier! People like them are a legend in their own minds! If you are happy playing guitar(or bass!) who is this person to tell you to stop? People like this get off on making others feel bad about themselves in order to inflate their own egos.

 

This is just one more reason you should check out the Classic Rock band: they are probably more professional and a better class of person than that gutter snipe. Also, it would be a great way to tick this guy off - keep playing and have fun doing it! That's just me, but I can be a spiteful B**** like that! ;)

 

I wish you well and hope you don't let this rotten jerk get the best of you or take your joy in playing guitar away from you!

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I think I will definitively stop playing guitar, tonight the bass player which is usually a guitar player, told me that everything I've ever made was 'out', that I am a bad quitar player but he didn't tell me anything since 1 year because didn't want to hurt me, and by the way told me that he is the only honest person that I know, that other people lie (my friends, people I don't know when we played live and you ... because I have posted things from my band on this forum and no one told me I was playing out so everyone lies :)

 

I am so upset, I started music to have pleasure not that, now believe me or not but I don't trust myself anymore so I am serious when I am thinking to stop all that s...! :(

 

 

 

 

Seems to me that he's not being a team player, and for any band to work, you all have to be pulling in the same direction. If it was me, it's very simple, drop the guy like a hot stone, and MOVE ON. if you work well with the drummer, and you want to continue the trio, find another bass player. He is NOT in-expendable.

 

Don't let his BS get you down.

 

Negative people thrive off their ability to push their crap onto others, and bring them down (Misery loves company)

 

If we go about letting that happen, THEY WIN.

 

Don't let them win.

 

if it was me, I would do the last gig, and pack it in with this guy.

 

Then figure out your next adventure.

 

DO NOT STOP playing....

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That's exactly what I mean when used the term "projects." My project is a group of loosely affiliated musicians that we group-up in multiple lineups and put on a show of what comes off looking like multiple bands to fill a card at a venue. A couple guys go up and do solo acoustic sets, then a group of 2 or 3 of us will go on with the drummer and maybe a bass and do some songs, then another group of 3 or 4 of us will perform so that the entire project gets playing time and plays a different variety of music in their respective sets. We do creative little things like call up one of the other guys into a lineup he's not generally part of as a "special guest" for a certain song or two and it appears to be a multiple band night when in fact it's just our "group" of musicians all getting playing time in a live performance setting...

 

Hell I even fill in on bass for some lineups...

 

It's fun as hell and you never know what yer gonna get on any given night. We choose lineups on the spur of the moment before sets and they put together a rough set list and mix it up as the mood strikes us and as we get a read on the crowd for the evening...

 

As much as it is nerve-wracking to be called up as a special guest guitarist, in a set I'm not in the lineup for normally, and told we're playing Pink Floyd's; "The Wall," (never having played it before in my life) I just let my memory guide me for a tone/sound theme and improv the whole song and the crowd loves it... I threw in my reissue '67 Vox wah pedal just for the mood of the whole psychedelic thing, went total improv in-key and we had a blast! I toyed with some reverb, some delay, danced around the edges of it with some audio bling and gimmicky effects, and we killed it!

 

I got the Shiite scared out of me when called up as a special guest guitarist to play The Eagles; "Hotel California." But we pulled it off and the crowd loved it! I'd never played that song in my life, not once, never even learned it. But I improved in key and my memory of listening to that tune on the radio so many hundreds if not thousands of times in my 46 years on this planet that I hit some of the key licks simply on memory and pulled a standing-o out of the crowd.

 

None of those things are my staple nor even close to my comfort zone... But I loved it all none-the-less and truly enjoy the unlimited opportunities we've manufactured in out little band project/s.

 

Improv is probably my strongest suit to what I have going for me as a Bluesman, and I've probably never played the same song twice the same way. Never learned songs from beginning to end (other than my own originals and those are pretty basic outlines) and I generally go by feel and take emotional/spiritual content from the crown and try to bond with it and play to it whatever it may consist of on any given night...

 

I'll go from playing alternative or Hip-Hop versions of Michael Jackson's; "Billy Jean" and Vanilla Ice's; "Ice Ice Baby" to Pink Floyd's; "The Wall" and Donovan's; "Season Of The Witch" and round it out with some of my original 12-bar Blues, Johnny B. Goode, and Johnny Cash's; "Fulson Prison Blues" all in the same night...

 

It's all good!!!

 


BTW, here's a rare recording of that Blues lineup I loved so much that went out as fast as it came in for me last summer. The singer guitarist and I worked so well together and had so much fun!

 

The entire lineup on stage at the moment in this recording is 45+, me being the youngest @ 45...

 

It was only the 2nd time we'd ever met or played together... (Paul the drummer and I - and the other guitarist & bass player were two parts that had joined together for this lineup)

 

I flubbed one of my licks and went right out of key for a couple seconds, but the crown didn't even seem to notice...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F8VKE5wcU8&feature=youtu.be

 

 

This was just 1 of like 2 different band lineups that went on that evening and we had 3 guys do solo acoustic sets throughout the afternoon and evening too...

 

The guy filming is one of the persona's that does alot of the alternative type stuff we do and is a card... He simply put together a quick montage of spots as you can see my guitar change thru the song and some quick snippits of one of the acoustic sets that isn't really part of this song; "I Wonder Who" which is a Rory Gallagher version of what I believe is a Muddy Waters tune...

 

My Vintage V100GT was still configured with the Peter Green Mod for out-of-phase which I used for the fills/leads on this tune... I've since put it back to stock since I purchased a Vintage V100PGM...

 

I loved that lineup! It was very very short-lived and disappeared as quick as it appeared in our project... I've told that story before here on the boards...

 

Oh yes this is the kind of blues I like! [thumbup]

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Seems to me that he's not being a team player, and for any band to work, you all have to be pulling in the same direction. If it was me, it's very simple, drop the guy like a hot stone, and MOVE ON. if you work well with the drummer, and you want to continue the trio, find another bass player. He is NOT in-expendable.

 

Don't let his BS get you down.

 

Negative people thrive off their ability to push their crap onto others, and bring them down (Misery loves company)

 

If we go about letting that happen, THEY WIN.

 

Don't let them win.

 

if it was me, I would do the last gig, and pack it in with this guy.

 

Then figure out your next adventure.

 

DO NOT STOP playing....

 

I will not stop, if I do that I am stupid, life is too short to worry about that kind of stuff.

I will keep on playing, start a new band, keep on rockin'(and bluesin') in a free world :)

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I will not stop, if I do that I am stupid, life is too short to worry about that kind of stuff.

I will keep on playing, start a new band, keep on rockin'(and bluesin') in a free world :)

 

 

That's the stuff !!!

good to hear!

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