Homz Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Oilpit' date=' put the bong down! Promoting drug use isn't smart...if you want to partake in herbal remedies, you shouldn't advertise it, especially to folks that are obviously going through some personal trauma....just my opinion.[/quote'] KSG and I agree. The only other thing we agree on is that Gibson guitars rock. This being the case :oilpit should listen to what's being said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harmonicchaos Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 Provisional hearing is wednesday... It'll be interesting to see how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Hang in there dude.....I think there's quite a few people here in the forum that know you've had some tough times here recently. Just go with the flow and know that you can vent here if you need too. Zip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitarbob123 Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 it sounds like your dads the crazy one not your mom unlucky, just keep hanging in there. dont get into fights or arguments with them, it'll just make it worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thundergod Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Is your dad a lot bigger than you? If not, I would kick him in the balls for messing with you (and make sure you tell him that's why you kicked him in the balls). While he is in the floor grabbing his balls in pain, kick him in the face (prefferably in the mouth) for messing with your mom (again, tell him that's for giving your mom a hard time). Then step on one of his hands and if he asks why, just say "dont even think on taking my guitars away from me)". Then kick in the gut and kidneys as desired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovegibsons Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Is your dad a lot bigger than you? If not' date=' I would kick him in the balls for messing with you (and make sure you tell him that's why you kicked him in the balls). While he is in the floor grabbing his balls in pain, kick him in the face (prefferably in the mouth) for messing with your mom (again, tell him that's for giving your mom a hard time). Then step on one of his hands and if he asks why, just say "dont even think on taking my guitars away from me)". Then kick in the gut and kidneys as desired.[/quote'] Neither Drugs or Low Level violence is the answer. Calm yourself down. Don't start smoking or drinking, but if you already do, don't stop. It'll only make it more stressful. Play guitar a lot. Heavy metal is a good way to release anger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninety1vee Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 man, i went through almost the same sh!t (no diseases, just one of the nastiest, most pathetic divorces ever) don't fall in a hole, don't pick up a bottle. that's what i did and there's some serious regret in that era of my life, use your music to keep you up best wishes harmonic, keep us posted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninety1vee Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Neither Drugs or Low Level violence is the answer. Calm yourself down. Don't start smoking or drinking' date=' but if you already do, don't stop. It'll only make it more stressful. Play guitar a lot. Heavy metal is a good way to release anger.[/quote'] +1 on metal, its like peaceful anger release Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harmonicchaos Posted February 6, 2009 Author Share Posted February 6, 2009 Is your dad a lot bigger than you? If not' date=' I would kick him in the balls for messing with you (and make sure you tell him that's why you kicked him in the balls). While he is in the floor grabbing his balls in pain, kick him in the face (prefferably in the mouth) for messing with your mom (again, tell him that's for giving your mom a hard time). Then step on one of his hands and if he asks why, just say "dont even think on taking my guitars away from me)". Then kick in the gut and kidneys as desired.[/quote'] Uh yep. I'm little... about 5'7'' and 110 pounds or so. He's about 5'10' and 200 lbs or so. He's very solid... and works out... would get the snot kicked out of me and then some. Not to say that if he tried anything physical with anyone of us again or tried something with my guitars that I wouldn't try to do something to him anyway. Thanks though Thundergod... The idea of doing that made me happy!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harmonicchaos Posted February 6, 2009 Author Share Posted February 6, 2009 The provisional hearing for my parents divorce was today. Good news: *We get to keep the house... for now. *My mom has full custody... for now. (he gets us every other weekend and we HAVE to talk to him on the phone. Every day. No matter what. At an exact time.) Any of the positive things we have right now can and may be still taken away during the official ruling. Bad news: Everything else. We are going to have to get rid of both of our dogs and maybe the cat (and i love that dam.ned cat immensely), we are no longer going to have any t.v. or internet (this may be goodbye for the forums... I might be able to post with my sis's phone and we might try to find a cheaper internet provider though.) It's amazing that someone who makes 100k+ is going to be letting his kids go without so much. Food may even become tight. It seems like their is no end to this. This man has abused my mom and I physically and mentally and he still gets away with it with nearly no repercussions to himself. I don't even know what to do. I won't get into the dirty details here (I've already said too much... i could get in trouble. I am under so many restrictions and rules. I think being able to think will be the next to go...) but I need some cheering up. I really just don't know what to do. Maybe things will get better, but i don't know right now. All i know is that my dad kept saying to me that it was going to get nasty and it was going to be drawn out. And it looks like he's going to follow through. Sorry to sound like a whiny kid going through a divorce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tari Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 harmonicchaos, Really sorry to hear about your problems. I had an abusive father. His favorite sayimg was " Spare the rod, Spoil the child. So I got a few beatens in my time. He was a DI in the Army and couldn't leave work at work. My mom was all that I had when I went around to Visit. When she had her stroke, She lost her memory. Well my dad filled it in for her. So now she don't think to highly of me either. I found that taken each day as it comes and keep your mind focused On what you want for your future is how to make it. When I was going thru this time Drugs were everywhere. I got hooked on smoken Opium. The smell of the sweet smoke and the way it made me feel, I was numb and thats all I cared about. I woke up one day and looked at my life and saw all I was doing was going to work to make money for a habit. I ain't no bible thumper. But Drugs aren't the answer to a problem, It just takes you away from it for a little while. Just stick by your Mom and keep on liveing your life as best you can and things will work them selves out with time. And their right you can come up with some songs out of this. I wrote this song when I was having my problems. If you want to hear the music with the words go to www.myspace.com/steventari I put my feelings into words instead of doing something stupid. MY BOY Mom and Dad how you doing, I hope your both OK. This is your son in England, Even though I know you paid my way. I wrote to tell you both, That I am doing well.. Then I ended up my letter, By telling them go to... Hey well how you doing now my boy? Hey well how you doing now my boy? In your younger years You use to smash up all your toys. Hey well how you doing now my boy. My dad use to always, Be smoking on a pipe. He use to beat my mother, In all our kids sight. And when my mother died my dad, Went out and married another girl. Thats when my hate entered in to this... Hey well how you doing now my boy? Hey well how you doing now my boy? Do you still love me as you did before? Hey well how you doing now my boy? I use to have a younger brother, Who disappeared one night. My dad called the Police, And said he disappeared from sight. My dad came and told us the next day, He died when he ran away. I stiil don't believe him, To this ... Hey well how you doing now my boy? Hey well how you doing now my boy? Do you still wonder, What happened to your younger brother Roy? Hey well how you doing now my boy? I went to the USA, To try and find my dad. They found him the next day, And he was dead. Someone had shot him, Right thru the head. I read it in the newspaper, On my way back to Eng... Hey well how you doing now my boy? Hey well how you doing now my boy? I sure do appreciate dad, The pistol toy. Hey well how you doing now my boy? My boy? My boy? My boy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djroge1 Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Harmonichaos, you know I'm pulling for ya... you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retrosurfer1959 Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Hang tough HC life does get better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tari Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I was also here at 415 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thermionik Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Damn you Harmonic - you got me to come out of voluntary exile and tweak my 999 posts. I am an old fart now, but back in the early sixties I went through similar crap. It simmered for all my life, boiled over when I was 10, the war raged through 10 to 12 and the fallout kept on thereafter. There is only one solution, and it ain't easy. Walk away from it. Now I know you can't walk just yet, but one day you will, and in the meantime your music will keep you going. I hung on until I was sixteen, and walked out during my 'A'-levels (that's a secondary school final qualification - gets you to college or university.....) and went to live with friends. Finished my schooling on my own working two jobs and stuff to pay for it (and some help from a girl-friend's family). So, from one who has been there, here is my 2-cents worth of advice:- Be strong in your own rightness - you didn't ask to be born and you have a right to be treated with respect and dignity no matter what age you are or how bad things are between your parents. None of it is your fault, do not take any blame anybody tries to lay on you, and do not allow guilt to well up inside. Soon as the situation is right for you - walk away and be your own person, not somebody else's pawn in a power struggle. Remember - you are not alone if you don't want to be, and a lot of folk out there now have been there too. There IS a way through it all, and you WILL find it. Look after yourself kid, nobody else will look after you as well as you can, and be strong and kind, don't lash out and don't punish anybody. Set an example that shames your selfish parents into realising what they are doing to you and your siblings. Rooting for you harmonicchaos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tari Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Man, Therminonik. I wish I had someone give me advise like that when I was Younger. Very Nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovegibsons Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Damn you Harmonic - you got me to come out of voluntary exile and tweak my 999 posts. I am an old fart now' date=' but back in the early sixties I went through similar crap. It simmered for all my life, boiled over when I was 10, the war raged through 10 to 12 and the fallout kept on thereafter. There is only one solution, and it ain't easy. [u']Walk away from it[/u]. Now I know you can't walk just yet, but one day you will, and in the meantime your music will keep you going. I hung on until I was sixteen, and walked out during my 'A'-levels (that's a secondary school final qualification - gets you to college or university.....) and went to live with friends. Finished my schooling on my own working two jobs and stuff to pay for it (and some help from a girl-friend's family). So, from one who has been there, here is my 2-cents worth of advice:- Be strong in your own rightness - you didn't ask to be born and you have a right to be treated with respect and dignity no matter what age you are or how bad things are between your parents. None of it is your fault, do not take any blame anybody tries to lay on you, and do not allow guilt to well up inside. Soon as the situation is right for you - walk away and be your own person, not somebody else's pawn in a power struggle. Remember - you are not alone if you don't want to be, and a lot of folk out there now have been there too. There IS a way through it all, and you WILL find it. Look after yourself kid, nobody else will look after you as well as you can, and be strong and kind, don't lash out and don't punish anybody. Set an example that shames your selfish parents into realising what they are doing to you and your siblings. Rooting for you harmonicchaos =D> =D> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballcorner Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Your parents' divorce is an opportunity for you to have some peace in your own life - no more listening to their anger with each other and that sort of thing. Music can help you through anything - even this. You can write about your feelings as the situation unfolds and you can write about the celebration after your mother takes your dad's last pair of underwear because he sounds like a really unpleasant man. From where you are at this minute, it probably seems hard to imagine that life without an abuser in the house is going to be better - but trust me when I tell you peace in a trailer park is better than hell in the mansion - you and your mother will survive whatever happens and at least the two of you have some hope of being happy - a person filled with anger and hate like your father appears to be will never know contentment. Take care of your mother and take care of yourself. Play your guitar and focus on the things around you that bring you pleasure. You deserve to be loved in this life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G u e s t Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Head up harmonicchaos. Play guitar, produce artworks, be you. The rest will follow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dynadude Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 One good thing about hard times, is that you learn to really appreciate the good times. The rest of the hard times thing pretty much sucks, but hey, ya gotta learn to make lemonade sometime. When stuff starts getting to me, I think about this cat that lives down the street. He's been a quadraplegic most of his life, and you will never hear the guy piss and moan about anything. Kind'a makes my problems seem trivial, ya know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitarmann199 Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 man i know how it feels i have a mom and dad (i love them both dont get me wrong) who areat odds more times that not. dont listen to all the ppl who are like wwwweeeeeeddd maaaannn. pot and things like that are just a path for ppl who want to take the easy way out. just concentrait on music cus isnt that really what its all about? write songs take every opportunity to jam with ppl or exchange musical ideas suround urself with ppl who feel the same way as u. good luck bud im with ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gilliangirl Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Harmonichaos, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. You don't deserve this; nobody does. Your father sounds like a very unreasonable man, and it's next to impossible to reason with someone like that. Everyone is right when they say that a broken but peaceful family is better than an intact but abusive one. Some people believe that a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all, but it is not true. You as the *child* of these two people should never be placed in a position of having to be the hero, the stronger level-headed one, but unfortunately it sounds like you've been stuck in that role. Do you have any relatives that you trust to support you? An aunt or uncle who would understand and side with you? I don't know what Social Services you have in the US but if things get really difficult, or even scary/dangerous, you should be able to call Child Protective Services or something like that. They would have social workers who would help you (hopefully). Stick close with your mom and take each day as it comes. It will get better once your dad is out of the picture. Don't hesitate to call in government authorities if he threatens to harm either one of you. Threatening to take away your possessions is abuse/emotional blackmail. Where did you go to school before you were homeschooled? Do you have any connections there? I'm just worried that you and your mom are isolated. Try to stay in touch with anyone on the outside that you trust. Keep posting on the forum too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWilson Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Harmonicchaos - Hang in there my friend. You have a lot of support here. I especially liked what Thermonik and Gilliangirl had to say. I worked with kids that had families much like yours, some better, some worse, for almost 20 years. I too think it would benefit you to get in touch with your local services that deal with the child and family. A good councilor can greatly help you when you find the right one. I'd also look into getting back into the school system where you will be around people your own age thus eliminating the isolation part of your life. They have councilors there too. You might also meet some folks who have similar musical tastes and you could end up in a band of your peers! Isolation is not a good thing for you right now. As stated earlier, do not, under any circumstances take any blame for this upon yourself. You didn't do ANYTHING to create this situation. This is just adults screwing things up like they frequently do. Learn from it and be a better adult when it's your turn. Be strong young man and asking for help is a GOOD thing!! Although I have nothing against marijuana, smoking it while you are depressed may not give you the answer you are looking for. It definitely won't change your situation and could get you into more trouble since it's actually illegal. More trouble is not what you need at present. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Good luck kid. You have my prayers (well when ever i do pray :( ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfden1 Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Harmonichaos, I feel for you man. I grew up in the 60's with an alcoholic, abusive asshole for a father. Weird thing was, on the "outside" he was a real charmer and people loved him, but when he was alone with his family, he was the monster in the darkness. I left home at 15, still in school, staying with friends, working after school. I didn't tell anyone what was going on, never asked for help from anyone, too ashamed, it felt like my fault, and too, I never thought anyone would believe me about who my father really was. I got into drugs early, convinced by older friends that it would make me feel better. It didn't, just covered up the pain for a while. That sounds like it might be a good thing, but it isn't. It just delayed my taking responsibility for my own life. Believe me, there's nothing cool about that. I finally got away from the drugs and made a life for myself. The best thing I ever did was to leave, but one of my few regrets in life is that I wasted so much time not taking control of more of my life. As an adult, I spent years in therapy working out my feelings about it all and dealing with the inevitable confusion and guilt. As for my parents, they continued their crazy dance with each other until they died What a pity. I'm 60 now, have adult children of my own, and grandchildren, and a successful life. I will say, that the one good thing I learned from my parents was how not to be a parent. Sounds counter-intuitive, but truthfully, I had to figure out how not to just be a repeat of my parents. It was not easy, and a lot of hard work, especially on myself. Everyone here who has told you this is not your fault is absolutely correct. Remember that and do not go there. You can either choose to raise yourself and be the person you would like to be, or you can let your dysfunctional parents choose for you. Do whatever you have to to get help. See a priest or pastor. Go to school and talk to the counselors. Find an older adult you can trust, but whatever you do, don't be alone, don't be afraid to ask for help. Cherish that part of you that's still a small boy, love your self, and be strong. Best, Dennis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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