daveinspain Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I knew it was too good to be true... Last night's band rehearsal ended up in a break up. We had a gig this coming Friday, March 4th. It was the next to the last rehearsal before the gig, everything was coming together and we were going to play one more tune. I still don't know exactly what happened but the singers and the bass player had a disagreement that ended the rehearsal abruptly. So I'm packing up my gear and I can hear arguing in the next room, then shouts, then screams so I go running in to find my bass player positioned with his fists up and one of the singers being held back from attacking... Why can't people grow up? The bass player is the band leader and arranger, the singers are a married couple. The bass player has a great ear and knows his sh¡t... The singers are very good but were messing up throughout the rehearsal. We have been playing the the same tunes for almost two years and the singers still weren't clear on some arrangements and reading the words from sheets of paper... Ok, the bass player could have used more tacked in telling them they were messing up but even so... WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST GROW UP, TAKE THE CRITICISM IN A CONSTRUCTIVE MANNER AND GET ON WITH IT. I don't see a fix to this and am very sad such a great thing had to come to an end... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stein Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 oh man, i know that story. you got a good thing going, and then come to find out maybe there are some things you didn't know and didn't want to know. it's all good so long as you know who your freinds are. i almost lost a good freind because of a band, turns out the "leader" was a drama queen and liked to complain about others, problem was, he didn't always tell the truth and went a year before we realized it. if we hadn't talked again, we never would have. it is easier to find good musicians than it is good freinds. if you got freinds in this band, it ain't over yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deacon Blue Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I also remeber that kind of drama in a band. Back in the 70's, my band ended its final gig with the drummer pumelling the singer in the parking lot. Too much tension had built up between these two over the previous months and it ended very badly. Thats rock & roll for ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexygibson Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Yep, it happens. A few months ago we had a lead player walk out DURING a gig. We now have a new bass player who our current lead player can't stand. Some of the greatest bands in the world have broke up over petty issues so, it happens. All you can do is go on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pete c Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 at least it happened at rehearsal and not on stage. thats how my last band ended, the singer, bass and drums in a brawl on stage. me and the lead player started packing our stuff up and left all three of them there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturn Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Dave, sorry to hear about your band. That stinks. Do you think you might have time to find a new singer before the gig? I know how it can be annoying when a singer has to flip through pages on stage to find their lyrics! I mean, I'm not even a singer, but know 90% of all the lyrics to every song we play. If I was responsible for the vocal parts, I would make sure I know them all without having to read them off a page. But then I'm guilty of having to ask what chords to play or what key is this song in Anyway, it's nice, but rare if you can find a group where everyone can work through issues without someone getting all huffy/puffy. It usually comes down to EGO. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daryl M Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Dude, it sucks about your band, but if you've been at it 2 years and your singers still are reading their lyrics, and taking issue with someone giving them a hard time about it, then you and your bass player are more patient than most. It's a fine line to walk between band mates and friends. I actually prefer finding people with a similar musical focus than people I 'like'. I tend to 'like' people who have their stuff together and want to play good music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 Dude, it sucks about your band, but if you've been at it 2 years and your singers still are reading their lyrics, and taking issue with someone giving them a hard time about it, then you and your bass player are more patient than most. It's a fine line to walk between band mates and friends. I actually prefer finding people with a similar musical focus than people I 'like'. I tend to 'like' people who have their stuff together and want to play good music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 Up-date... I called the drummer to see when would be a good time to come pick up my gear, we practice at his place. He then tells me he has been talking with the singers and they are looking for a new bass player and the want to go ahead with the gig... Then I get a call from one of the singers, the wife of the other sing who had the altercation with the bass player. They are calling a meeting today at 6pm. I'm going to the meeting to find out what went down and who the aggressor was... Then I'll decide what to do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbreslauer Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 in my last "serious" band, our guitar player was dating the singer/keyboard player. We really were her band: she was the primary songwriter and a really good singer/pianist. When they split (abruptly and harshly), the band was never the same again. We tried for a while: talk about craziness! any band that had couples in it is a time bomb... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShredAstaire Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 This is why i don't want to start a new band....my old band was amazing. The worst we had was "going for a walk to cool down" and when we broke up, it was because I was moving. (I was one of two band leaders/founders) I can't see getting together with random people and have what we had....i don't need the stress of it all! That sucks Dave...i'm sorry to hear it. You gonna get on the hunt for a new band then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlie brown Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 "Ain't no way to keep a band together. Bands come and go. You got to keep on playin', no matter with who." (Dell Paxton) "That Thing You Do!" ;>) My current "band," aren't "friends," in the social sense. We've known each other, for decades, and get along well. But, we don't "hang out" together, except at rehearsals, and gigs. It may be one reason, we are still friendly??? Who knows? The other thing, for us, is...we're not trying to prove anything, or "make it." We just play, because it's fun...First and foremost! CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thundergod Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 That's too bad Dave, I hope you guys can make things work out. Can you find another singer? If they are the problem then things will fall apart again even if you work it out now, so the best thing to do would be upgrading from them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searcy Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I'm going to the meeting to find out what went down and who the aggressor was... Then I'll decide what to do... So... the bass player doesn't get to tell his side of things? I think I would be looking for some new singers. This sort of crap is what drove me away from bands years ago. When the band is hitting on all cylinders and the groove is on there ain't nothing like it. But.... the constant drama! I can't deal with that anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Dave, hope it works out for you. Time for adults to be adults. Find out the scoop. Talk it out. Then decide what's best for you. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarryUK Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Sounds like too many chiefs plus too much practice and not enough gigging. You can rehearse too much. It becomes stale and boring. You think that you're not ready, but you are really. I could put a band together and have them gig in two weeks. One song per night is enough practice for proficient players. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stein Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Sounds like too many chiefs plus too much practice and not enough gigging. You can rehearse too much. It becomes stale and boring. You think that you're not ready, but you are really. I could put a band together and have them gig in two weeks. One song per night is enough practice for proficient players. what he said. thats a good point, but i wouldn't take it wrong that you have to be this competent and experienced to take the stage, or be a good band. i don't think he is saying that. rock and roll is not a democracy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfpup Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST GROW UP, TAKE THE CRITICISM IN A CONSTRUCTIVE MANNER AND GET ON WITH IT. [lol] Bwahahahahahhaha! Good one, Dave! [lol] Seriously though, hope the meeting goes well, and the gig works out (assuming that's what you want). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChanMan Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Good luck with the meeting. Hope you still get to gig :). Drama= what I DON'T miss about playing in a band :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrNylon Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Bad break man. Jack Bruce and Ginger Baker got into knock down drag-out fist fights when they were in Cream. Sometimes the sandbox just isn't big enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 [lol] Bwahahahahahhaha! Good one, Dave! [lol] Seriously though, hope the meeting goes well, and the gig works out (assuming that's what you want). Well had the meeting, they brought in a new bass player. Tomorrow we have a rehearsal. I told them at the end of the rehearsal tomorrow I will tell them if we go ahead with the gig or not. The majority of the people that are planning to go are my people, like 70% or 80%... I'm not about to make a fool out of myself in front of my friends just to save a gig date... The new bass player has to learn 18 songs in two days. Can he do it? We shall see.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Dave, what ever you do remember you alone have to live with the decision you make. If you don't feel right about this guy. Cut ties and run. You already said you liked performing with the old bass player. Do the gig. Evaluate him and ask yourself if he's the guy you want. What ever you decide Dave, it's going to be alright in the long run. Hope everything goes well and he doesn't embarrass everyone with his lack of experience. 18 songs is a lot to learn by this weekend. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff-7 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 If the new player works out you could finish all your current commitments and then see if the former bass player wants to put something together and start from scratch. It seems like you enjoy playing with him more than what's left of the lineup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 Thanks for your thoughts guys. You can't imagine the stress this is putting me through ( or maybe you can ) The truth of the matter is the singers are not owning up to any fault in this whole mess... That bothers me. Dilemma; The singers are the ones who brought me into the group and are friends. At first we were just two guitars drums and the singers. The drummer brought the bass player in. I was still very green at the time. The bass player sort of took me under his wing and spent lots of time with me teaching me the tunes and basically giving me lessons. I respect the bass players ear and knowledge of music, I owe much of my progression as a player to him. The bass player was demanding and was not very tactful in telling people what they were doing wrong. He could make you feel belittled in front of the other band members. In the end he was always right and made improvements as a result. I was very green so I took it and benefited from it but the others felt it as personal attacks. I'm really between a rock and a hard place... Please forgive this rant... I will see how it goes tomorrow. You never know, it may all work out for the best, however it works out... :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 [lol] Bwahahahahahhaha! Good one, Dave! [lol] Seriously though, hope the meeting goes well, and the gig works out (assuming that's what you want). Hahahahah... I may put this in my signature "WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST GROW UP, TAKE THE CRITICISM IN A CONSTRUCTIVE MANNER AND GET ON WITH IT" Is it ok to quote yourself???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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