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Funny Ebay guitar ad

#1 User is offline   Rabs 

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 02:10 PM

I guess that's one type of marketing direction to go... [rolleyes]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/272591654524

Hi folks, here for sale is quite the worst guitar I have ever owned. The reserve is nothing, which is significantly more than it is worth.


Hand crafted in a state of advanced intoxication by the Professional Product Group - (I fear they were not technically professionals) - this catastrophic failure of an instrument boasts the following features -


Low action with only slight fret buzz on all strings all the way up the neck


Goes out of tune the second you look at it


G string pops out of the nut with even the slightest pressure


Super sharp frets ensure your fingers will be destroyed immediately, giving you an 'emo' edge at gigs.


Scratches for looking cool and that, call it a heavy relic like all the bell ends trying to sell broken Squiers for 500


Can't comment on the electronics as I have never plugged it in, it just didn't seem worth it


I don't want this in my house anymore


First come first mugged. No warranty beyond the cast iron guarantee of regret.


Collection only from my home in Witham, Essex, or I can smash it into bits and post it in a shoe box, choice is yours.


Check my feedback and bid with absolute confidence. You've nothing to lose but your dignity.


Payment via magic beans / beer
"Im the one thats going to have to die when its time for me to die. So let me live my life, the way I WANT TOO" Jimi Hendrix
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#2 User is offline   Hawkesman 

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 04:31 PM

I wonder if it's any good? [tongue]

Seriously though, it's already been bid up to 50 quid! By whom? And why?
Guitars:
Gibson Explorer
Gibson SG Special
Gibson Firebird V
Ibanez Destroyer II DT50 (1981 - owned from new)
Aria Pro II XRB Bass

Amps:
Marshall JCM 800 2204 (1982 - owned from new)
Marshall JCM 2000 DSL 50
H|H VS Bassamp

Cabs:
Marshall '74 2045
Marshall '75 2045
Marshall '75 1982A
Marshall '79 1982A
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#3 User is offline   Cougar 

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 05:53 PM

View PostRabs, on 20 March 2017 - 02:10 PM, said:

Replying to Funny Ebay guitar ad....


No fake news there!
1939 Epiphone Masterbilt Zenith

2008 Epiphone Masterbilt spruce/rosewood EF-500RAVS

2009 Epiphone Masterbilt spruce/mahogany EF-500MNS

2011 Guild F50R burst
2002 Guild JF30-12 burst 

2014 Epiphone FT-79 IB-64 Texan cherryburst

2012 Epiphone Lennon EJ-160E VS

2011 Epiphone Performer ME TBK

2013 Epiphone EL-00 Pro VS

1972 Epiphone FT-160 12-string sunburst

2012 Epiphone Dot CH

2010 Epiphone Les Paul Standard trans amber 

Yamaha Motif XS7

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#4 User is offline   tx-ogre 

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 06:00 PM

I like the question in the Q&A section of the eBay listing: Is it a genuine Chinese PPG model or a cheap Mexican import? The only thing better was the seller's reply. :)
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#5 User is offline   bigtim 

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 06:32 PM

That was awesome!! I wonder if it was one of the forum members here who asked the question. Totally great question!!! The reply was pretty good too!!!!
Paranoid Redneck Here ...............Stay away from that Gibson Acoustic room!!! Those Educated Commies in there will get you!!!

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Check out my tunes

http://www.reverbnation.com/timh73



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#6 User is offline   Hawkesman 

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 06:42 PM

View Posttx-ogre, on 20 March 2017 - 06:00 PM, said:

I like the question in the Q&A section of the eBay listing: Is it a genuine Chinese PPG model or a cheap Mexican import? The only thing better was the seller's reply. :)


Yeah - crackingly funny question, and the reply was blunt and hilarious!
Guitars:
Gibson Explorer
Gibson SG Special
Gibson Firebird V
Ibanez Destroyer II DT50 (1981 - owned from new)
Aria Pro II XRB Bass

Amps:
Marshall JCM 800 2204 (1982 - owned from new)
Marshall JCM 2000 DSL 50
H|H VS Bassamp

Cabs:
Marshall '74 2045
Marshall '75 2045
Marshall '75 1982A
Marshall '79 1982A
0

#7 User is offline   LarryUK 

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Posted 21 March 2017 - 02:30 AM

Funny enough, I'd already seen this ad. It does grab your attention.
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#8 User is offline   pippy 

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Posted 21 March 2017 - 03:06 AM

Posted Image

Very funny and, yes, the Q+A are very funny, too!

View PostHawkesman, on 20 March 2017 - 04:31 PM, said:

Seriously though, it's already been bid up to 50 quid! By whom? And why?

I would have thought that the hardware must be worth a reasonable amount on its own.
If anyone has a 'project' Strat-style (say) guitar then this would supply p'ups; trem bridge; the tuners are already replacements so might be ok; and so on...

Pip.
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#9 User is offline   badbluesplayer 

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Posted 21 March 2017 - 05:36 AM

[laugh]
_________________________________
Posted Image
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#10 User is offline   saturn 

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Posted 21 March 2017 - 05:54 AM

Wow! That's a genuine PPG. Those things are highly sought after. :^o
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#11 User is offline   Izzy 

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Posted 21 March 2017 - 06:36 AM

[flapper] That was worth a read. Q&A though, lol!!!
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I spend a lot of time in my room with my instruments brooding and s%^t. It's cheaper than therapy.
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#12 User is offline   kelly campbell 

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Posted 21 March 2017 - 07:18 AM

Ha Ha, That is funny but seems to be working.
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#13 User is offline   MichaelT 

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Posted 21 March 2017 - 07:59 AM

The Q & A made me bust out laughing:


Question & Answer Answered On


Q: Hi, Is this a genuine Chinese PPG guitar or is it the cheap Mexican import? Thanks Neil Mar-20-17
A: Hi Neil, I understand your concern regarding the provenance of this bespoke masterpiece but I can assure you with absolute certainty that this instrument was produced in the centre of Satan's own anus. I hope that puts your mind at ease. All the best, and many thanks for your interest.
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#14 User is offline   Hawkesman 

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Posted 21 March 2017 - 04:55 PM

View Postpippy, on 21 March 2017 - 03:06 AM, said:

Posted Image

Very funny and, yes, the Q+A are very funny, too!


I would have thought that the hardware must be worth a reasonable amount on its own.
If anyone has a 'project' Strat-style (say) guitar then this would supply p'ups; trem bridge; the tuners are already replacements so might be ok; and so on...

Pip.


Yeah - good point Pip. Mind you, it obviously hadn't occurred to him either. He'd probably make more money by selling the parts individually, and then saving on his heating bill by using the rest as firewood!

H.
Guitars:
Gibson Explorer
Gibson SG Special
Gibson Firebird V
Ibanez Destroyer II DT50 (1981 - owned from new)
Aria Pro II XRB Bass

Amps:
Marshall JCM 800 2204 (1982 - owned from new)
Marshall JCM 2000 DSL 50
H|H VS Bassamp

Cabs:
Marshall '74 2045
Marshall '75 2045
Marshall '75 1982A
Marshall '79 1982A
0

#15 User is offline   SteveFord 

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Posted 21 March 2017 - 05:21 PM

That's worth buying and then framing the ad to go along with it.
Bid early and bid often!
The poodle bites, the poodle chews it
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#16 User is offline   RevDavidLee 

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Posted Yesterday, 07:20 AM

Absolutely priceless [lol]

Made my day Rabs! [thumbup] [thumbup] [thumbup]
www.rivercityrockets.com
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#17 User is offline   MichaelT 

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Posted Yesterday, 07:28 AM

If only he would ship to the US, I'd think about it just to be silly. The ad is a classic though and he's added another question and answer.
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#18 User is offline   RevDavidLee 

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Posted Yesterday, 09:49 PM

I'm sorry folks... the guitar from Satan's anus has sold [crying]
www.rivercityrockets.com
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#19 User is offline   SteveFord 

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Posted Today, 03:22 AM

Crap, another dream unrealized.
Well, there will be others.
The poodle bites, the poodle chews it
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#20 User is offline   MichaelT 

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Posted Today, 06:50 AM

I am picturing "The Omen" in my head and the guitar killing its owner and sending itself to a new owner to destroy his/her life as well. I forsee hearing the original owner's screams come out the amp if it's ever plugged in.
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