gearbasher Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 (edited) 23 hours ago, ghost_of_fl said: never go fishing with french people, they eat the bait. This is true. There was a bait shop in my area that closed and reopened as a sushi restaurant. In my opinion, it's not that much of a difference. Back to bad jokes. Why did the old man fall down the well? He didn't see that well. Edited April 1 by gearbasher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 What did the Zen master order at the hot dog stand? One with everything. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdgm Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 2 hours ago, gearbasher said: What did the Zen master order at the hot dog stand? One with everything. ...And when he asked the hot dog vendor "where's my change?" The vendor replied "change comes from within". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 What's the difference between OJ and Tang? Tang never killed anyone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 OJ’s casket will fit him like a glove. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rct Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 Just now, ksdaddy said: OJ’s casket will fit him like a glove. I chortled. Guffawed I tell you. rct 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 He died just before he was going to get remarried. He wanted to take another stab at it. 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 What was OJ’s favorite soft drink? Slice 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 I really believe OJ was innocent. Because, when he played for the Bills, he always cut to the left. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 I identify as a bicycle. Because, I'm always too tired. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 I just picked up an old bike at the recycling center 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 Women say that all men cheat, but on The Maury Show, 80% of the men are not the father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 Two cannibals were eating a clown. One looked up and said to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 Two cannibals start eating a guy, one starting from the head, the other at the feet. After a while, the “head” cannibal had worked his way down around the neck. Without looking up, he asked the other cannibal how things were going on his end. “Great! I’m having a ball!” The first cannibal said, “wow, you eat fast!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 When I was young, I spent 90% of my money on booze and raunchy women. The other 10% I wasted. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheepdog1969 Posted April 25 Share Posted April 25 Years ago, before Big Pharma began making pills to enhance male endowment, guys lacking down there got their enhancement advice from locker room "wives' tales". One sad lad eventually asked one of his better built friends what he could do to grow a bit more. His friend told him that he had been told to rub butter on it, which he had done to great effect. A few weeks later, the sad lad complained to the friend who had given him the butter advice, that "it wasn't working". Worse yet, he indicated, "it was having the opposite effect." "I'm really shocked that butter isn't working for you, because it really worked for me.", said the friend. "Well, butter is pretty expensive and my Mom would have noticed if any of the small amount of it we keep in the fridge, went missing. But, since Mom substitutes Crisco for butter, all the time, in her recipes, that's what I've been using.", the sad lad explained. His friend shouted, "You idiot, Crisco is SHORTENING!". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 (edited) Why do married men end up with "dad" bodies? Because when you're single, you go to the refrigerator and there's nothing you want. So, you go to bed. When you're married, you go to bed and there's nothing you want. So, you go to the refrigerator. Edited May 27 by gearbasher 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Once upon a time, a handsome prince asked the most beautiful woman in the kingdom for her hand in marraige. She said: "No". So the handsome prince walked away and lived happily ever after, 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted May 31 Share Posted May 31 A young man was nervous as he attended a dinner party at the house of his girlfriend's parents for the first time. He drank modestly, mingled with the family, and was on his best behavior. Things were going well. Come time for dinner, everyone was seated, and the young fellow found himself placed between his girl and the patriarch of the family. The family dog wandered in after grace was said, settled in on the floor by Dad's feet, and the supper began. At one point however, the young man began to have painful gas cramps. He was afraid to get up and excuse himself for fear of drawing attention to his nervous state. As the table dined and everyone conversed over desert and coffee, he finally and discretely lifted one cheek, and quietly passed some gas. Within seconds, the Dad leaned over and admonished the dog, "Duke"!! The young fellow quietly cheered inside his head. "Her father thinks that it's the dog that's farting!" He discretely smiled, and shifted in his chair. More gas was passed. Again, the father spoke sternly to the dog. "Duke," he said again. The dinner party settled into cocktails and conversation, and the young suitor finally let out the last of the flatus, with a slightly noisy flourish, no less. The girl's father finally slammed his fist down on the table, and shouted to the dog, "Duke, move your *** away from the table before this jackass shiits all over you!!" 😝 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted June 1 Share Posted June 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted June 1 Share Posted June 1 Were you a boxer? No How'd you get cauliflower ears then? I never learned to read music huh... I had to play everything by ear 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 A woman is sitting in the dentist's chair having a tooth abscess drained. She was overcome with the need to pass gas and it happened despite her best preventative efforts. It made a noise that sounded like Honda. She was mortified but unable to do anything about it. A few minutes later as the dentist was draining away she did it again, another loud Honda sound. Just then the dentist placed his instruments on the table and exclaimed, "I guess it's true what they say. Abscess makes the fart go Honda." 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted June 9 Share Posted June 9 Knock knock. Who’s there? Yah. Yah who? Settle down, cowboy! 🤨 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 What do you give to the fellow who has everything? Penicillin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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