Co-Workers

[NighthawkChris]

I for one am one of those guys that go to work and get business done.  I'm good at what I do, and I don't mince my words at work with others.  I don't like to participate in after-hours events at all with anyone I work with.  My goal is to get a paycheck, and leave the place when the clock strikes the hour I intend on getting the heck out of the building. 

I used to be a "team player" but what I find is that you are either towing a line, or you deal with someone that is competing for your work/responsibility/etc.  Once I start to develop friend-relationships with people I work with, it has the propensity to complicate the entire work-dynamic.  There is a such thing as people you respect personally - perhaps even professionally to a certain extent - but absolutely abhor working with. 

Overall, I don't want to take any more time away from my well-deserved personal time I strive for each and every day after I leave the office.  Going out with co-workers and joining the "work family" is complete utter crap IMHO.  I hate places that use the word "family" because when I am on my deathbed or some other issue arises, where the heck are my co-worker "family" members at?  Oh, they'll send me a card or something stupid maybe, but we live in a place of the world that will throw you on the street, and not provide any medical help to you if you don't have a job/company-provided healthcare package...  Maybe someone else has a better perspective on this, but I don't have enough time as it is to spend with my family and actual friends - who would be there for you.  And most of all, I am tired of dealing with people that compete with me in the workplace and ask me to join the work-crap.  I don't come to work to make friends or be charitable. 

Just had this thought lately because want to avoid this stupid annual company picnic that involves getting to know your co-worker, feeding us one of the cheapest, least nutritional meals American can put on a plate in front of me, and listening to the company "propaganda".  I think I would rather go home...  I feel the same about the Christmas party too - I always have better things to do.  I am not some pariah at my workplace, but I don't care if people at work like/dislike me.  I have enough friends.  Just think that if it came down to a decision for your interests and the company's interests in the heat of some issue/conflict, co-workers choose the latter nearly 100% of the time to save their hides.  Hopefully I am in the minority because my company sucks - and a lot of them typically do I feel.  Companies do this "family" crap as a guise because someone more knowledgeable than I apparently thinks it increases productivity, or some crap like that... 

[kidblast]

I think all things change over time, and you're seeing it here too.

The dynamics of the work place has drastically changed in the last 5~10 years from what I've seen.

for one Ageism, is real, especially if you're on the hunt for a job and you're around my age (66)    No one wants to really pick you up.  Even tho guys like me, in the years of IT with the experience that I bring have should mean something, it doesn't. 

Working remotely really changed the "work team" dynamic more than anything I can recall.  I've not gone into an "office" to do my job since 2015.  And even by then, I did it just to show myself there once a week.  It didn't change anything in how I could do my job, it must made the job a little harder because of interruptions and distractions. 

But I'm with you,  my job is my job,  I work well with the people on my team, but it's pretty much down to, do what you can, be a pro, and make sure you've got things covered.

I like my current manager,   but the ones before him, I could not trust, and I didn't not like even talking to them.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

9 minutes ago, NighthawkChris said:

I for one am one of those guys that go to work and get business done.  I'm good at what I do, and I don't mince my words at work with others.  I don't like to participate in after-hours events at all with anyone I work with.  My goal is to get a paycheck, and leave the place when the clock strikes the hour I intend on getting the heck out of the building. 

I used to be a "team player" but what I find is that you are either towing a line, or you deal with someone that is competing for your work/responsibility/etc.  Once I start to develop friend-relationships with people I work with, it has the propensity to complicate the entire work-dynamic.  There is a such thing as people you respect personally - perhaps even professionally to a certain extent - but absolutely abhor working with. 

Overall, I don't want to take any more time away from my well-deserved personal time I strive for each and every day after I leave the office.  Going out with co-workers and joining the "work family" is complete utter crap IMHO.  I hate places that use the word "family" because when I am on my deathbed or some other issue arises, where the heck are my co-worker "family" members at?  Oh, they'll send me a card or something stupid maybe, but we live in a place of the world that will throw you on the street, and not provide any medical help to you if you don't have a job/company-provided healthcare package...  Maybe someone else has a better perspective on this, but I don't have enough time as it is to spend with my family and actual friends - who would be there for you.  And most of all, I am tired of dealing with people that compete with me in the workplace and ask me to join the work-crap.  I don't come to work to make friends or be charitable. 

Just had this thought lately because want to avoid this stupid annual company picnic that involves getting to know your co-worker, feeding us one of the cheapest, least nutritional meals American can put on a plate in front of me, and listening to the company "propaganda".  I think I would rather go home...  I feel the same about the Christmas party too - I always have better things to do.  I am not some pariah at my workplace, but I don't care if people at work like/dislike me.  I have enough friends.  Just think that if it came down to a decision for your interests and the company's interests in the heat of some issue/conflict, co-workers choose the latter nearly 100% of the time to save their hides.  Hopefully I am in the minority because my company sucks - and a lot of them typically do I feel.  Companies do this "family" crap as a guise because someone more knowledgeable than I apparently thinks it increases productivity, or some crap like that... 

I work to get away from my wife.  I could also care less about my co-workers or what they think of me. I do what is asked of me and no more or less. The thing about my job that is good, is I see my boss maybe a total of 15 mins a week. 

[NighthawkChris]

@kidblast, yeah, the workplace isn't what it used to be.  Better or worse, who's to say.  Sad that experience isn't as valued like it logically should.  I for one am a quality over quantity kind of guy.  Anyhow, glad you can deal with your current manager and not giving you a difficult time.  I know how fun that is working for someone you have a difficult time even hearing their voice in the hallway. 

@Sgt. Pepper, I envy you - wish I had less time required to spend with management.  It's somewhat of a sore spot for me at times.  I get it that it is nice to break away from the home at times, so I could relate to this.  My problem is I need to get away from home and work, haha!  That escape used to be when I spent time with the band(s) I used to play with. 

[Ceptorman]

53 minutes ago, Sgt. Pepper said:

I work to get away from my wife.  I could also care less about my co-workers or what they think of me. I do what is asked of me and no more or less. The thing about my job that is good, is I see my boss maybe a total of 15 mins a week. 

You sound unhappy, and going to work to get away from your wife sounds like no fun whatsoever. You could get a divorce. Life is way too short to be unhappy .

[Sgt. Pepper]

18 minutes ago, Ceptorman said:

You sound unhappy, and going to work to get away from your wife sounds like no fun whatsoever. You could get a divorce. Life is way too short to be unhappy .

I am more than likely going to. How us men get roped into marriage is beyond me. Oh wait at the beginning we get sex then after the I do, we don't.

[Sgt. Pepper]

26 minutes ago, NighthawkChris said:

@kidblast, yeah, the workplace isn't what it used to be.  Better or worse, who's to say.  Sad that experience isn't as valued like it logically should.  I for one am a quality over quantity kind of guy.  Anyhow, glad you can deal with your current manager and not giving you a difficult time.  I know how fun that is working for someone you have a difficult time even hearing their voice in the hallway. 

@Sgt. Pepper, I envy you - wish I had less time required to spend with management.  It's somewhat of a sore spot for me at times.  I get it that it is nice to break away from the home at times, so I could relate to this.  My problem is I need to get away from home and work, haha!  That escape used to be when I spent time with the band(s) I used to play with. 

My job is just that, a job. I do maintenance at a music theater. Since I work 8 - 2 and  most of the employees don't start till 3 or so and leave around 11 when the show is over and all the money stuff and cleaning up gets done, its one of the few nice things. And I have money for guitar strings.

I am really a maintenance electrician not working in my field. 

[Karloff]

I do go to my Company's summer get together because they usually have steamed crabs. I haven't been to a Christmas party in 8 years. I see those people enough during the week.  plus I'm usually at a gig on the weekend anyway. theres a handful of coworkers here I like & I think are good people. but there are more that are arrogant, condescending jerks that I'd just as soon punch in the face. 

[Mr. Gibson]

1 hour ago, Sgt. Pepper said:

I am more than likely going to. How us men get roped into marriage is beyond me. Oh wait at the beginning we get sex then after the I do, we don't.

You are wise beyond your years.

Wedding cake is the best form of birth control.

[kidblast]

1 hour ago, Sgt. Pepper said:

I am more than likely going to. How us men get roped into marriage is beyond me. Oh wait at the beginning we get sex then after the I do, we don't.

ya know, that's sad news peppah,  been with my wife since 9th grade.

I couldn't imagine a day without her everywhere in it.

I guess I got lucky?

 

[Karloff]

2 hours ago, Sgt. Pepper said:

I am more than likely going to. How us men get roped into marriage is beyond me. Oh wait at the beginning we get sex then after the I do, we don't.

yea, the old saying "why buy the cow if the milks for free" ... 

when you're dating there's an endless flow of milk. they wake you up in the middle of the night and ask if you'd like some milk. as soon as you move them in or they get the ring of power ... that teat dries up.

Edited August 2, 2023 by Karloff

[Karloff]

40 minutes ago, kidblast said:

ya know, that's sad news peppah,  been with my wife since 9th grade.

I couldn't imagine a day without her everywhere in it.

I guess I got lucky?

 

yep Ray, you got lucky ... I like hearing things like that. doesn't give me any hope. I just like hearing it. lolol

[Sgt. Pepper]

50 minutes ago, kidblast said:

ya know, that's sad news peppah,  been with my wife since 9th grade.

I couldn't imagine a day without her everywhere in it.

I guess I got lucky?

 

Been a long time coming. My wife is some weirdo I don’t even know anymore. 

[kidblast]

1 hour ago, Sgt. Pepper said:

Been a long time coming. My wife is some weirdo I don’t even know anymore. 

I am sorry to hear that.

1 hour ago, Karloff said:

yep Ray, you got lucky ... I like hearing things like that. doesn't give me any hope. I just like hearing it. lolol

Hope is a good thing to have, with out it   we have No Hope..  Hope is bettah. 

[tx-ogre]

I retired from the gubamint at the end of 2011 after 28 years.  During my 23 years as a field agent, I rarely socialized with my coworkers or other law enforcement officers.  The few times I did, the conversation always turned to work.  I dealt with that enough on-duty that I wanted to get away from it in my off-time.  My last 5 years were in management: 2 years a a Group Supervisor and 3 as a Resident Agent in Charge (office head).  During that time I followed my Marine Corps leadership training and avoided fraternization with my subordinates.  A lot of the non-veterans didn’t understand and were pissed off, but I just explained that it is problematic trying to be an effective leader/boss and “drinking buddy” at the same time.  Any socializing I did was with neighbors or friends who had “normal” jobs.  

Now I do some occasional consulting work on behalf of the gubamint as a contractor.  I work from home, have little to no contact with anyone from the contract companies and have no direct contact whatsoever with any gubamint employees or agencies.  Not a bad gig.

[rct]

I retired in 2019.  I saw a co-worker at the grocery store the other day, a lady I had worked with for more than 25 years.  Could NOT, for the life of me, remember her name.

Mrs retired February of last year.  It has been the best year and a half we've had, and we've been together for more than 45 years now.

rct

[Pinch]

Maybe it should be instituted that no relationship gets to last longer than the dating phase. 

[SteveFord]

I haven't been to the office since March of 2020.  

I plan on keeping it that way, you know how work is: good ones, ones that don't leave an impression, back stabbing rodents, there's all sorts.

I like most of the motorcycle guys from there, at least we have that in common.

   It's a mistake to get involved with the women there as they seem to be demented.

[IanHenry]

My, we are a cynical bunch, aren't we 🙂

I think the workplace environment is a little different here in the U.K, most people here work to live not live to work.

Most of the people I used to work with got along just fine, there was never any competitiveness for promotion, whenever the job for head of the department came up it just seemed to go to the next in line, and they generally seemed to get it a few years before their retirement in order to boost their pension.

I do periodically go for lunch with 4 fellow retirees and that's always a laugh.  My wife calls them "The Last of the Summer Wine" events (Last of the Summer Wine was a long-running British TV comedy about  4 or 5 old blokes wandering around a Yorkshire village causing mischief".    

[kidblast]

as I go back over this in my mind,  there is one notable thing,  a guy I worked with starting in 1992, and remained a co-worker for quite a few years after, is still in contact today.  We've become very good friends over these years, something that would not have happen if not for "office life".  One guy out of hundreds of co-workers.

[sparquelito]

I have been lucky I guess.

I did work in a toxic environment many years ago.
2004 to 2007.
Left that place eventually because the entire shop suffered from a lack of integrity.
The work was Foreign Military Sales (FMS) case management.
It was mostly lethargic Government Servants drawing a fat paycheck for doing nothing, to be quite honest. 
And the handful of us who did all the work around that place were expected to look the other way (and not discuss) the rampant time-keeping fraud, laziness, and double-billing the foreign customers.
I dutifully reported, in writing, everything that was going on there, and was retaliated against.
Put those people in my rear-view mirror, and never looked back.

The last 15 years of my working life I was having a blast.
2007 till the end of 2022.
I worked with a great team of guys and gals who operated with integrity, energy, and good humor.
The mission was Aviation Flight Test and test support.

Company parties and gatherings were a blast, especially since I was the musical director for the place, on top of my Operations duties.
We always put together a live band to play the annual sports-fest on the river, the after-work team-building beer-drinking gatherings at the pub, or the big Christmas party in the large hangar.

There was no competition, except among the junior engineers I guess, because we all had our unique jobs and skill sets.
I made a lot of lifelong friends there, and even though I am retired now, we get together for lunch all the time.

Sometimes life hands you lemons, and you have to figure out how to make lemonade.
Other times life hands you peaches and cream, and life is great.

Luck of the draw, I guess.

😐

[Whitefang]

One of the closest friends I have is a guy I met at work.  And some co-workers over the years also became good friends.  And they were friends at work, and never or rarely seen outside the plant.  And for rank and file workers in an auto plant there's really no worry about somebody wanting to steal your job.  Especially since there's seniority to be considered.  And most jobs on the line in those places pay the same rate.  The only thing that rates is whether the job isn't as bust-a$$ as the one you're doing. 

When I was a kid, my Dad would take the family(Mom, me, my brother and my step brother and a step sister) to the annual Cadillac picnic, held each year at a huge amusement park somewhere near Walled Lake, Michigan.  But by the time I went to work at Cadillac, those picnics were discontinued.  

Sure.  There were a lot of great people I got along with fine at work, and too of course,  a few I didn't get along with at all.   And they were no problem if I just ignored them and went about my business.   And since I met my second wife at the plant, I've no complaints at all.   After the failure of my first marriage marrying the second one was the smartest thing I've ever done in my life.

But that works only if you're smart enough to learn from your mistakes.  

4 hours ago, sparquelito said:

Sometimes life hands you lemons, and you have to figure out how to make lemonade.
Other times life hands you peaches and cream, and life is great.

Luck of the draw, I guess.

😐

Ha!  Methinks you're a Dale Carnegie alumnus, eh?   

I remember those classes I used to go to at the union hall twice a week.  They had that "Lemons/lemonade" thing on a big poster on the wall. 

Whitefang

[sparquelito]

6 hours ago, Whitefang said:

Ha!  Methinks you're a Dale Carnegie alumnus, eh?   

I remember those classes I used to go to at the union hall twice a week.  They had that "Lemons/lemonade" thing on a big poster on the wall. 

Whitefang

I have heard the name Dale Carnegie before, but I must admit I know nothing about him, or the classes you speak of.

I'm just a lucky guy, with a fairly guarded but vaguely optimistic viewpoint and life philosophy.

This is it in a nut-shell:
High hopes but low expectations.

When you apply that philosophy to your dealings with other humans, especially coworkers, then you will never be hurt or let down by sorry behavior.

Instead, you will be ready for the nonsense perpetrated by the larger population, the whole while delighted and happy about the truly good people you meet and encounter along the way.

🙂

[Karloff]

14 hours ago, sparquelito said:

I have heard the name Dale Carnegie before, but I must admit I know nothing about him, or the classes you speak of.

I'm just a lucky guy, with a fairly guarded but vaguely optimistic viewpoint and life philosophy.

This is it in a nut-shell:
High hopes but low expectations.

When you apply that philosophy to your dealings with other humans, especially coworkers, then you will never be hurt or let down by sorry behavior.

Instead, you will be ready for the nonsense perpetrated by the larger population, the whole while delighted and happy about the truly good people you meet and encounter along the way.

🙂

"How To Win Friends & Influence People"

[Whitefang]

16 hours ago, sparquelito said:

I'm just a lucky guy, with a fairly guarded but vaguely optimistic viewpoint and life philosophy.

This is it in a nut-shell:
High hopes but low expectations.

 

Sort of what I developed over the years.  Only with me it's NO expectations.  The results are much the same.   

It's been better than 30 years since those Dale Carnegie classes.  But what they were was mostly for building self confidence and maintaining esteem.  And some memory methods I never got the hang of.  This might help clear it up:

www.dalecarnegie.com

Whitefang