Retired Posted March 6, 2022 Share Posted March 6, 2022 According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income -tax form contains only four lines: 1. What was your income for the year? 2. What were your expenses? 3. How much have you left? 4.Send it in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted March 6, 2022 Share Posted March 6, 2022 Mental Health professionals say that folding laundry while you’re naked is a good relaxation therapy. They may be correct, but I’ll never do it again at the laundromat. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted March 6, 2022 Share Posted March 6, 2022 13 hours ago, MissouriPicker said: Mental Health professionals say that folding laundry while you’re naked is a good relaxation therapy. They may be correct, but I’ll never do it again at the laundromat. Oh, that was YOU, "pizza butt"? Whitefang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted March 6, 2022 Share Posted March 6, 2022 19 hours ago, MissouriPicker said: Mental Health professionals say that folding laundry while you’re naked is a good relaxation therapy. They may be correct, but I’ll never do it again at the laundromat. Lol. Reminds me a few times when I came home from work at the U.P R.R. on days. My wife graduated college but still hadn't a job yet, we were still newlyweds. I walked in the front room and she was bare butt naked cleaning the house with the window shades and curtains all shut. That opened my eyes wide opened Lol. Now I suppose, Pictures or it didn't happen right? Haha, eat your heart out! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted March 6, 2022 Share Posted March 6, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brucebubs Posted March 6, 2022 Share Posted March 6, 2022 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted March 7, 2022 Share Posted March 7, 2022 DOC, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home.' He said, "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." Is that common?" I asked? "It's Not Unusual" he replied. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted March 7, 2022 Share Posted March 7, 2022 18 hours ago, Retired said: Lol. Reminds me a few times when I came home from work at the U.P R.R. on days. My wife graduated college but still hadn't a job yet, we were still newlyweds. I walked in the front room and she was bare butt naked cleaning the house with the window shades and curtains all shut. That opened my eyes wide opened Lol. Now I suppose, Pictures or it didn't happen right? Haha, eat your heart out! Ha! Most guys come home from work to a cup of coffee and a quick peck on the cheek. YOU came home to two cheeks and then came again! Whitefang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted March 7, 2022 Share Posted March 7, 2022 Well, my girlfriend left me. She said that I’m too “old fashioned.” Then, two days later I find out she’s been trifling, courtin’ and playing pitch n’ woo with some rambler. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted March 7, 2022 Share Posted March 7, 2022 7 hours ago, Whitefang said: Ha! Most guys come home from work to a cup of coffee and a quick peck on the cheek. YOU came home to two cheeks and then came again! Whitefang I do have to admit, She has treated me well over the 42 years. 😄😎 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 18 hours ago, MissouriPicker said: Well, my girlfriend left me. She said that I’m too “old fashioned.” Then, two days later I find out she’s been trifling, courtin’ and playing pitch n’ woo with some rambler. Rambler? I had one of those! Whitefang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 Last night at a gig, someone compared my voice to Dean Martin’s. They said that compared to Dean Martin I sound like ****. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdgm Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 (edited) 22 hours ago, MissouriPicker said: Last night at a gig, someone compared my voice to Dean Martin’s. They said that compared to Dean Martin I sound like ****. That's interesting as people get very emotional when I sing and some of them have even been known to start crying. People listen to my singing and tell me I should go far, although those aren't the exact 2 words they use. Just a few weeks ago after I sang something a man came up to me and said he wished I was in the Albert Hall in London. We were in Southampton at the time but I knew he really appreciated my unique talent for what it is. BTW I prefer to sing in the flat keys - all 12 of them. Edited March 9, 2022 by jdgm 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted March 10, 2022 Share Posted March 10, 2022 On 3/8/2022 at 1:42 PM, MissouriPicker said: Last night at a gig, someone compared my voice to Dean Martin’s. They said that compared to Dean Martin I sound like ****. I got a chuckle. My 2nd oldest sister does too and that is compared to anyone, Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted March 10, 2022 Share Posted March 10, 2022 Is international women's day over yet? I'm starving. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted April 1, 2022 Share Posted April 1, 2022 (edited) I can home from work and found my wife standing, naked, in front of a mirror. She said : "I feel fat and ugly. I need a compliment." So I told her: "You're eyesight is perfect." What did they find on Chris Rock's face? Fresh Prints (Prince)! Edited April 1, 2022 by gearbasher 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted April 1, 2022 Share Posted April 1, 2022 I bet Chris Rock is glad he didn't insult Alec Baldwin's wife. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted April 2, 2022 Share Posted April 2, 2022 Looks like Will and Jada’s marriage is open for everything, except jokes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted April 14, 2022 Share Posted April 14, 2022 Major dilemma! I have studied every religion in the world and no matter which one I join I’m still going to hell. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted April 14, 2022 Share Posted April 14, 2022 "Just Say No to Drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said "yes". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted April 14, 2022 Share Posted April 14, 2022 Speaking of drugs... Next time your employer mentions adopting a policy of random drug tests, just tell him you're willing to test any drug he can provide. Whitefang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karloff Posted April 14, 2022 Share Posted April 14, 2022 4 hours ago, Whitefang said: Speaking of drugs... Next time your employer mentions adopting a policy of random drug tests, just tell him you're willing to test any drug he can provide. Whitefang lol. I use to joke, "can I pass a drug test ? hell yea. I've been studying for years" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted April 14, 2022 Share Posted April 14, 2022 (edited) Last week a friend of mine and his wife had a huge fight. She left and hasn’t come back yet. I asked him how he was doing. He said he was doing fine and that he had plenty of fish sticks in the freezer. Edited April 14, 2022 by MissouriPicker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 https://imgur.com/a/fzezWGt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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