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Stupid Jokes


Mr. Gibson
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An old BENNY HILL gag------

Welfare caseworker:  "My record shows you were married for 7 years, yet you have 15 children.  How do you account for that?"

Benny( as single mother): "He comes around every now and then to apologize." 

Whitefang

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But, psychiatrists can be real helpful.  For example---

I used to be terrified to answer the phone.  It would ring and I'd hide under the bed or in a closet.  But then I went to a psychiatrist to help me with that and it helped!  I'm no longer afraid when the telephone rings.  In fact, I'll answer the phone whether it rings or not!  [smile]

Whitefang

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Two old men in a restaurant.  One looks up from the menu and asks the other,

"What's this here on the menu.....  'Soup Du Jour'?"  "What IS that?" 

The other old man says, "Oh, I've had that before.  It's chicken."    

Whitefang

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A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.

They decide to meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because of the hot waitress with the big boobs.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive. The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good value for money.

Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.

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A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade.

"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.

You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career."

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Actually, the remake idea might not be a joke, but IS stupid nonetheless.  [wink]

But as far as stupid jokes.....

Didja hear about the cowboy that was so conceited he wore a 50 gallon hat?  

(Thank you, Hazel Burke  [wink])

Whitefang

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