Women=Argh

[LarryUK]

Right.. Rant time. Here's the situation. My father (86) is in hospital with lung cancer, low blood pressure and pneaumonia,

I went to visit him today with my girlfriend. When we got there, my ex girlfriend was there ( originally my sis's friend, so family friend also). I didn't know she was going.

So.. I walk in while my gf waits outside. I explain that gf is here. Ex gets the huff and strops off home. I go out to gf and she has stropped off home as well.

Both blame me saying that I set the situation up.

Why would someone who's father is lying there dying set up an ex to bump into current?

How do you understand a womans Mind?

AARRRGGGHH!!!!!!!!

[DanvillRob]

Right.. Rant time. Here's the situation. My father (86) is in hospital with lung cancer, low blood pressure and pneaumonia,

I went to visit him today with my girlfriend. When we got there, my ex girlfriend was there ( originally my sis's friend, so family friend also). I didn't know she was going.

So.. I walk in while my gf waits outside. I explain that gf is here. Ex gets the huff and strops off home. I go out to gf and she has stropped off home as well.

Both blame me saying that I set the situation up.

Why would someone who's father is lying there dying set up an ex to bump into current?

How do you understand a womans Mind?

AARRRGGGHH!!!!!!!!

 

At a time when your father is so ill, you don't need women playin' head-games with you.

 

I'd be grateful that they're both out of my life! (but then...your gf & Ex-gf were never in my life!)

[Infamous]

At a time when your father is so ill, you don't need women playin' head-games with you.

 

I'd be grateful that t hey're both out of my life! (but then...your gf & Ex-gf were never in my life!)

 

Seriously, if they can't recognize the gravity of the situation and put their petty selfishness aside, I'd say you're better off without either of them.

 

Sorry to hear about your dad - that really sucks.

[MojoRedFoot]

How do you understand a womans Mind?

 

Plain and simple....as men, we cannot. I assume you have to be one. And even that won't answer all questions. They can be very competitive....that goes for all species.

 

Sorry aboot your dad

[rjay777]

Sorry to hear about your Pops.

The Holiday season's the worst time to go through something like this too.

Your family is the only thing important right now, deal with

the ladies later. I wish your Dad the best.

[cabba2203]

Seriously, if they can't recognize the gravity of the situation and put their petty selfishness aside, I'd say you're better off without either of them.

 

No truer advice can be given here.

 

Sorry to hear about your father.

[grampa]

This doesn't sound like a "woman" problem, it sounds like an issue caused by family stress. It's hard, Ive been there, but just hang in there and just concentrate on your father.

[PP_CS336]

lashurst, I hear you, man! I just went through a situation over the Thanksgiving holiday with my girlfriend. I was telling her neighbor about a recent

situation I went through with my ex-wife concerning my daughter. Before I left to go home she said she was tired of hearing my ex-wife's name. I replied,

well I'm tired of hearing about your jealousy because I don't have any love/affection or whatever toward my ex-wife. You won't need to hear her name anymore

because you won't be hearing from me again. And I just left her. I agree with DanvillRob, but taking it out of context.

...you don't need women playin' head-games with you. Be grateful if they're both out of your life!

[Silenced Fred]

Yeah man I hear you. Nobody will ever understand them...

Sorry to hear about your dad, but if they will go off on something as trivial as both being there, then they are both quite immature. But, as a man, I'm probably wrong

[Tman]

I'm very sorry to hear about your father and you certainly don't need added petty stress. I lost my father to cancer 22 years ago. My advice is to spend as much of his remaining days with him as you can. You can always work on other relationships later. I mean that with sincere empathy and sympathy.

[Daryl M]

I am sorry about you father.

 

I am sure there is a completely logical explanation as to why the women acted that way. Unfortunately, it will only be completely logical to another woman.

[Californiaman]

I am sorry about you father.

 

I am sure there is a completely logical explanation as to why the women acted that way. Unfortunately, it will only be completely logical to another woman.

 

Sorry about your Dad.

He's your most important concern now.

Seems like the women are more interested in themselves.

Don't call either one for a while and play it out.

It could work to your advantage in the long-run.

Focus on the family first.

[RobinTheHood]

Seriously, if they can't recognize the gravity of the situation and put their petty selfishness aside, I'd say you're better off without either of them.

This! oh so much THIS!

She needs to realize that your father's health trumps her petty feelings about your ex.

 

What I would do: Ignore the ex and if she ever brings it up, tell her to get bent. This will make the current GF happy at least in one regard. Then, firstly, and most importantly, let your GF say her piece. Whatever it is, take it like a man and let her finish...no matter how ridiculous. Dont reason with her, correct her or explain the situation...nothing...until she has finished. Be understanding, nod your head, whatever you can do to keep the high ground. Then, when it is your turn, explain your side and do the reasoning. Be calm and rational. Dont let her get to you. Women can smell fear and deception, and many of them thrive from escalating a relatively benign situation...like this one.

 

So anyway, speak your mind. Dont let her interrupt under any circumstances (because you didnt interrupt her, right?). Force her to play fair. Dont let her focus on talking points that only vaguely relate to the situation or turn it into something it is not. (a typical arguing tactic by many women - because they usually dont care about the actual argument after about 20 minutes...at that point, they just want to win). So say your piece with love, compassion, understanding and calmness. Be direct, but not overtly harsh. Hit her with so much reason that she cant backtrack or divert the argument. Keep at it and work it out if its worth it.

 

If that works, YAY! If not, keep the focus on your father's health (because that is what this is really about) and lay into her so farking nuclear that it singes her eyebrows. Then tell her to get the hell out of your sight and not to call you until she grows up. Oh, and if you can muster up a few tears, do it. A little helping of guilt for good measure never hurt. She would do the same...and probably will.

 

Ok, that last part is a little (a lot) dangerous, but is sometimes a needed last resort. You cant cave in though. If you do, it will just open up the door to many more situations like this. And once she sees that side, the side where she know you will always cave, you either end up a suggardaddy, a whipping post, or single.

 

Sorry for the long-winded post. There are so many subtleties and nuances that are hard to predict or convey on a forum.

But the gist of your arguement shoud always be: "what could I possibly have to gain by creating a situation like this?" Make her answer that question, then shoot down the answer (with accuracy, precision and the truth) and ask it again.

 

*all of this assuming no skeletons in your relationship closet. YMMV.

[LarryUK]

Thanks for the comments. One thing last night brought it home. I was about to leave and he started crying.

I asked him what was the matter and he said 'I don't want to leave you all'. Dreadful and heartbreaking.

I'm the youngest of five. He's a 'Geordie'. He was down the pit at 15. Fought in WW2 in Normandy and it comes down to this.

Lying in bed waiting to die. He's a proud man. I love him.

[DanvillRob]

Thanks for the comments. One thing last night brought it home. I was about to leave and he started crying.

I asked him what was the matter and he said 'I don't want to leave you all'. Dreadful and heartbreaking.

I'm the youngest of five. He's a 'Geordie'. He was down the pit at 15. Fought in WW2 in Normandy and it comes down to this.

Lying in bed waiting to die. He's a proud man. I love him.

 

 

God bless you. Your father is a lucky man.

[sparky scott 29]

Sorry to hear about your father. I hope he does well.Really though is there really anybody here that DOESN'T have problems with women??

[tartanbeastie]

 

How do you understand a womans Mind?

AARRRGGGHH!!!!!!!!

 

you dont try and understand "womens minds" or "womens logic" because its never going to happen. Its as much of an oxymoron as "friendly fire" or "government intelligence"

[Gilliangirl]

Seriously, if they can't recognize the gravity of the situation and put their petty selfishness aside, I'd say you're better off without either of them.

 

Sorry to hear about your dad - that really sucks.

Ditto.

Please don't assume that all women are that self-centred. Sounds they like both need to grow up.

I'm so sorry about your dad.

[Gilliangirl]

(a typical arguing tactic by many women - because they usually dont care about the actual argument after about 20 minutes...at that point, they just want to win).

To be fair, I could say the exact same thing about men.

 

Good communication will have 4 components: honesty, directness, respect, consideration. Use those in all your communication and you shouldn't have any regrets. Harder than it sounds tho'.

[Gilliangirl]

lashurst, I agree that you should concentrate your efforts on your dad right now. It will make him feel better, it will make you feel better, and you won't have any regrets. If the current gf doesn't understand this, then she is not the one for you (or anyone, for that matter). I can understand that the exgf may have had a relationship with your dad, but she must respect that you're in a new relationship now and you are likely to show up with her. Bottom line: your dad takes precedence here, not the girls.

 

You and your dad will be in my thoughts.

[duane v]

Sorry to hear about your Pops

 

Now for the less important scenario

.......... I don't think I would even worry about the disposition of the two ladies in question, concerning the gravity of the situation that surrounds your Pop.

 

As a matter of fact, I never worried about girls when they were just girlfriends anywhoo

[cookieman15061]

Hmmmm. I understand my wife perfectly. Been doing it for 30 years now.

 

Sorry to hear about your father. Mine has been struggling as of late also. Our prayers go out to your family

 

 

[Jeff-7]

Thanks for the comments. One thing last night brought it home. I was about to leave and he started crying.

I asked him what was the matter and he said 'I don't want to leave you all'. Dreadful and heartbreaking.

I'm the youngest of five. He's a 'Geordie'. He was down the pit at 15. Fought in WW2 in Normandy and it comes down to this.

Lying in bed waiting to die. He's a proud man. I love him.

My sympathies to you and your family, a man like that doesn't deserve to go out that way. God bless and that is rather petty of both the women to do that to you with the gravity of the situation at hand. If anything you should be the one who is upset, but forget them and focus on your father - I'm sure he is glad to have you by his side.

[Mr. Natural]

Lashurst, my dad is the same age. I hope everything goes well for you and your family. Hang in there bud.

[retrosurfer1959]

Best of luck with your dad it's always hard especially now in the silly season.

 

As for women yep weird in this case tell em both to sod off until they work it out, jealousy really never goes away though my wife was pissed the other day because a twenty something year old girl was following me around a bookstore talking to me and apparently flirting Ive been married so long that I honestly wouldn't recognize flirting unless they ask me to have sex! I'll never understand how asking a women where the art books are in the store is flirting, but oh well guess it's better than if they didn't care at all.