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just had a major row with the wife...


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need peeps to talk to as i'm at home and have no one else, basicly i said she was a bad parent (to our 7 yr old son)...he runs rings around her and she has no authority over him, if she tells him off he just laughs and i have to step in every time to stamp my authority...but it has made me look like the bully out of us two which is not fair, i love my son and want the best for him but sometimes i feel like i'm a lone parent and my wife and son are brother and sister :(

 

sorry, i know it's a touchy subject for the lounge but wondered if anyone else has had to deal with a situation like this [crying]

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Yep.

 

Make sure you talk to your kids afterwards. It seems funny to explain logic to young children but they will appreciate, and love you, for it.

 

 

Also, apologize to your wife. It will go a long way towards making it right, and you don't want her being extra harsh on your child just to prove to you that she has balls.

 

 

Voice of experience talking here.

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As a kid where, when growing up, it was my mother that was always stricter and my dad was always the more easy going of the two, you have to unite. He will make fights happen for no reason, I did as a kid, and I never understood why.

 

Like Chan said, talk to him, because when you're a kid, you don't understand why

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Consistency is key, one of you can't be stricter than the other. You both need to put your foot down.

 

Growing up in a house where my mom is reasonable, though still strict, and my dad is never anything but negative, insulting etc, I know how I wish it would've been. Both parents need to be on the same page.

 

The whole parenting thing is too complex for a simple forum post eh? :P

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Normal I don't get advice, but I agree with some sound like sonny boy there has you to divided. But calling her a bad parent was wrong. I agree she needs to enforce the rules in punishment just like you do. But you too need to be a team not against each other.

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Sounds like your son has you two devided. He's won.

 

 

Normal I don't get advice, but I agree with some sound like sonny boy there has you to divided.

 

 

While I agree with the above that say you two need a consistent plan, I'd guess that the kid did not devise this state of affairs so he could "win".

 

I rather suspect that he's found himself in the middle of something he didn't create.

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From the perspective of learning theory, children that age are generally very, very literal and will easily catch on to inconsistencies among social inputs from parents, school, etc.

 

Which is why... I figure pretty much that kids are like elephants. They're kinda fun to watch on occasion, but I'm glad I don't have to feed and pick up after one on a regular basis.

 

m

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Steveo, sit down, take a deep breath, have a couple of drinks, and..........[thumbup][flapper][sneaky] ...........

 

Kids are pretty smart, seems like he's good at the deviding you two up,

 

regardless of so-called parenting skills......Gleem what you can from

 

the advice given; as with any thread, there's some good advice in it.......

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Please understand that I'm not here to say I don't believe you, but it's really hard to know the whole picture without hearing your wife's side of things. I'd like to sit down with her. Is she saying "Steve, you're way too hard on him!"? There's his side, there's her side, then there's somewhere in the middle, which is where you guys want to be. You need to sit down with her and reach some sort of consensus on a plan, then stick to it. And yelling at each other won't accomplish that.

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Really you wanna bring this to a bunch of pinhead musicians?

 

Steve, Steve, Steve,.........never ever bring family issues to an online forum buddy. Best of luck to ya brother.

 

Disagreements/ work em out

 

That's why I rarely ask for, or give out "life" advice here. [unsure]

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Stand by your wife man......

 

You've gotta teach young boys to respect females, and that comes from you the father.

With no kids I am reluctant to answer.

 

But this here is a true story, and it works both ways, as in wife to husband as well.

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Your lucky to be alive right now - I would have never said that to my wife during an argument out of a combination of both respect and honestly fear - If I would screwed up so bad and blurted out something like that i would have had to just get in the car and keep going never looking back. That's the kind of comment a woman will always remember and never forgive.

 

Don't know how it is there but in Arizona it's community property so I'd be sitting in a hotel deciding which half of my belongings I could live without.

 

You should claim Tourette's or maybe tell her you think somethings wrong and you want to get a cat scan to see what medical reason there could be for saying something like that.

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Kids (boys in particular) often learn how to treat their mother by watching how their father treats her.

 

Not saying this is your scenario, but I've seen it many times before in this sort of situation.

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Stand by your wife man......

 

You've gotta teach young boys to respect females, and that comes from you the father.

Even extends so far as the grandmother! Very wise words Duane.

 

when in a relationship, and this is how I've never ended one angrily, I never say anything that could be construed as mean, in an argument. Generally I let her get it all out, I have to listen, and then we have a proper discussion out of it (I'm very mellow until a certain point, and that point is hard to get to). Never say something that you might regret in the heat of an argument, it's like poking an already angry bear.

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