Whitefang Posted May 28, 2021 Share Posted May 28, 2021 A beaver goes into a bar, jumps up on a stool and asks, "Hey! Where's the bar tender?" Whitefang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdgm Posted May 28, 2021 Share Posted May 28, 2021 (edited) I don't get it I'm Engli - oh wait. Tender..... yuurghh Edited May 28, 2021 by jdgm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 But, psychiatrists can be real helpful. For example--- I used to be terrified to answer the phone. It would ring and I'd hide under the bed or in a closet. But then I went to a psychiatrist to help me with that and it helped! I'm no longer afraid when the telephone rings. In fact, I'll answer the phone whether it rings or not! Whitefang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 Two old men in a restaurant. One looks up from the menu and asks the other, "What's this here on the menu..... 'Soup Du Jour'?" "What IS that?" The other old man says, "Oh, I've had that before. It's chicken." Whitefang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 Did you hear about the cannibal that passed a missionary on a jungle trail? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 On 5/30/2021 at 8:20 PM, Mr. Natural said: Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. Anyone attempting suicide should get the death penalty. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted June 13, 2021 Share Posted June 13, 2021 Actually, the remake idea might not be a joke, but IS stupid nonetheless. But as far as stupid jokes..... Didja hear about the cowboy that was so conceited he wore a 50 gallon hat? (Thank you, Hazel Burke ) Whitefang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabs Posted June 14, 2021 Share Posted June 14, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 A woman is sitting in her hotel room and hears a knock at the door. She opens the door to see a man whom she's never met before. He says, "I'm sorry, I have made a mistake, I thought this was my room." He then goes down the corridor and into the elevator. The woman goes back into her room and calls security. What made the woman so suspicious of the man? ( Think about the riddle before reading the answer. ) Answer: If he really thought it was his hotel room, he would have tried to open the door - not knock on it first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cabarone Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 There was a tradesman, a painter named Jack, who was very interestedin making a dollar where he could.So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.As it happened, he got away with this for some time.Eventually, the local church decided to do a big restoration project.Jack put in a painting bid and, because his price was so competitive,he got the job. And so he started, erecting the trestles and puttingup the planks, and buying the paint and thinning it down withturpentine.Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly done,when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder. The sky openedand the rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over thechurch and knocking Jack off the scaffold to land on the lawn. Jackwas no fool.He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he fell on his kneesand cried, "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"And from the thunder, a mighty Voice spoke, "Repaint! Repaint! Andthin no more!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabs Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabs Posted June 17, 2021 Share Posted June 17, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabs Posted June 21, 2021 Share Posted June 21, 2021 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted June 21, 2021 Share Posted June 21, 2021 On 6/15/2021 at 10:01 PM, Rabs said: Nothing came up for me, but did it have anything to do with this? Whitefang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabs Posted June 21, 2021 Share Posted June 21, 2021 1 minute ago, Whitefang said: Nothing came up for me, but did it have anything to do with this? Whitefang Weird.. Not seen it do that before.. No it was an illustration. Theres a picture of what could be the Titanic going down and two of the musicians floating on their big cases like they were cello players and one says to the other. I wonder how the piccolo player is doing... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted June 22, 2021 Share Posted June 22, 2021 We were at an outing today with the grandkids and got our fill with knock knock jokes. Knock Knock. Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the peephole and find out! Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, a cow says Mooooo! Thats just 2 out of 20 we heard. Lol. I shared them because this is supposed to be stupid jokes. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted June 22, 2021 Share Posted June 22, 2021 I got caught by a co=-worker once who rolled up and asked, "Hey, wanna hear a good 'knock knock' joke?" And I said, "Sure." So he told me, "OK, you start it off." So I said, "Knock knock." and he came back with, "Who's there?" Got me good with that one. Whitefang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Pepper Posted June 28, 2021 Share Posted June 28, 2021 On 6/25/2021 at 7:39 AM, ghost_of_fl said: A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: 1. I ate my friend's lunch. 2. I ate my friend's colon. I almost lost my lunch after reading that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabs Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 I was at a party, and struck up a conversation with a fellow who came there with some old friends of mine. My whiskey drink had gone dry, and I started to go to the bar and get myself another. I asked my new friend if he wanted one as well. He said, "No, I have a medical condition. Any time I drink alcohol, I break out in handcuffs." 😞 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Red Skelton once complained about his wife being superstitious. "She refuses to clean house during any week that has a Friday in it." But that could never happen to me because I think it's bad luck to believe in superstition. Whitefang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 she was kidnapped by mimes, who did unspeakable things. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted July 8, 2021 Share Posted July 8, 2021 Ya want stupid? Well, you ASKED for it! A man walks into a real estate office and asks a man behind a desk; "You're an expert on real estate?" And the man at the desk answers, "Yes." So, the first guy, grabbing his crotch, asked, "So tell me, is this a lot? Whitefang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinch Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 On 7/7/2021 at 6:38 PM, ghost_of_fl said: I apologize in advance for the following tasteless joke. Obstetrician: I have good news and bad news Pregnant woman: Start with the good news Obstetrician: Your son will be able to park wherever he wants Ha ha! I dunno, maybe someone does already, but you could probably get paid to tell jokes! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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