sparquelito Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt? A: Say, are you gonna eat that?😬 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 They said that when Jeffrey Dahmer was in high school, he was a pretty fair pitcher on his high school baseball team. They said he had a fine right arm. In fact, in the freezer, he had several of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 When Jeffrey Dahmer went to prison, they put him to work in the prison cafeteria. That didn't last long. The other inmates got tired of eating finger sandwiches. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 Did you guy's hear about the Italian chef who died? "He pasta-way." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 So, this gal is Christmas shopping and her husband is supposed to meet her, but he’s late. She calls him to see where he’s at. “You’re late, hon! When you getting here?” Him: “I’m sorry babe! I got hung-up...... You remember that little jewelry shop where you saw that diamond necklace and I said that someday I’d buy it for you?” Her, as tears fill her eyes: “OMG! Yes, I remember it!” Him: “Well, I’m in the bar right next to it.” 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 The medical term for lazy eye is Atchaforia. One eye is looking atcha and the other is looking foria. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdgm Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 Want to hear any chimney jokes? I've got stacks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 A guy buys his blond girlfriend her first cell phone. She's shopping in Walmart when her new phone rings. She answers and says, "Hello?" Her boyfriend says, "Hi babe. How are you liking your new phone?" She says, "I like it fine, but how did you know I was at Walmart?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 What did the guitar say to the guitarist? Pick on someone your own size! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 OK, here goes...... A young girl walks into a bank and drops a pillowcase full of nickels, dimes and quarters on the counter. The shocked teller asks her, "Good heavens miss. Did you hoard all this change?" And the girl answered.... "Naw. My sister whored half of it." Whitefang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Why did Miley Cyrus drink a bottle of ketchup on the tonight show with Jay Leno? She wanted all of America to know that white, southern, country music fans were as stupid and redneck and inbred as they’re rumored to be. 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinch Posted April 3, 2021 Share Posted April 3, 2021 (edited) Historically, the royalty has a much longer history of inbreeding than any redneck you'd care to shake a stick at. Food for thought. Edited April 3, 2021 by Pinch 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 What did the egg say to the boiling water? I don't think I can get hard. I just got laid this morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabs Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 Well this one really made Me laugh. "A woman wanted to know how her husband would react if she left him. She wrote him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore. She put it on the table in the bedroom and then climbed under the bed to hide until her husband got home. When he eventually came back home, he saw the letter on the table and read it. After a few moments of silence, he picked up a pen and added something to the letter. Then he started to get changed, whistling happy tunes and singing and dancing while he did so. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number. His wife listened from under the bed as he started chatting to someone." "Hey Babe, I'm just changing clothes and then I will join you, he said. As for my wife, it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around on her and she left. I was really wrong to have married her; I wish you and me had met earlier, See you soon, honey!" Then he hung up and walked out the room. Heartbroken, she climbed out from under the bed and stumbled over to read what her unfaithful husband had written on the end of her letter. Through teary eyes, she read: "I could see your feet you idiot, I am going out to buy bread." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 Have you noticed how you rarely see Delorian's anymore? Apparently their owners only drive them from Time to Time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gdecantoo Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 (edited) Wife was upstairs working for a few hours when she yelled down, “ Honey, do you ever get a real bad stabbing pain in your back while just sitting there doing nothing like a voodoo doll?” I yelled back “no honey”. A few minutes later she yelled down “How about now”!!!! Edited April 10, 2021 by gdecant1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanvillRob Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 My Guitar Cartoons: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanvillRob Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 Another : Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanvillRob Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 For us Bass Players: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanvillRob Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 My old st and-by: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanvillRob Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 And That's JUST the way it works! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 I just went to a very emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers. 😬 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gdecantoo Posted April 11, 2021 Share Posted April 11, 2021 I was watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra when the guy on the triangle disappeared, 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted April 11, 2021 Share Posted April 11, 2021 On 5/4/2020 at 4:35 PM, ghost_of_fl said: Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9 Going back over the pages I found the one up there. It reminded me of an oldie from Jr. high------ Did you hear about Maytag? Kelvinator. And I'm not sure if I posted this one already, but---- OK, so a man walks into his son's room and says, "Son, if you keep m a s t u r b a t i n g you'll go blind!" And the son said, "Yo! DAD! Over here!!" Whitefang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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